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Life Arts    H3'ed 6/26/25

Don't Mess with the Zohran (poem)

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John Hawkins
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still from the film Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)
still from the film Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)
(Image by Columbia)
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He knows

He's a socialist

He knows the newest media

He froze his ass off at Coney Island just so you could feel secure in your rent-stabilized unit, he knows where you can buy 3 suits for 50 bucks, he knows

New York is just a state of mind

Like Coney island, come to think of it,

where the wind howls like the laughter of children disappeared

in the endless summer sunlight, mental as,

ask me

.

Don't Mess with the Zohran

He knows the up and down in Uganda

'a killer and clown, big-hearted buffoon and strutting martinet'

And SNL will be calling

.

Atlantic says he's a magical realist

says it with a straight face

here in America

just because he rides pachyderms through tiger-infested jungles of the night

in India

where it rains

and (picnic lightning)s

.

Don't Mess with the Zohran

He raps raps raps

Like E A Poe's raven

at the window with a broken wing

Never More

.

The Brits are already taking bets

The day and hour the Zionists will

take him out

(Busy on two fronts right now)

Take him out

Take the goddamned self-loather out

Send in Zohan

Let them rumble

From cab roof to cab roof

down off Broadway

The living proof

That our flag was still there

When he pretzels the z from z-land

O say can you see?

The Master's Hand

.

Don't Mess with the Zohran

He might get rid of student loans, too

Hey, what if the raging weatherman clouds

turn Rorschach red and black on our ass?

And we read the writing on the bat-stained wall?

Don't Mess with

Don't Mess with him

If you see him on a freedom bus

on his way to freelunchville,

up Donald Trump way

give him an emoji thumbs up

and smile like the whitest picket fence of all time

beam

.

it will take a little while

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John Kendall Hawkins is an American ex-pat freelance journalist and poet currently residing in Oceania.

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