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Culturally Appropriating 'WHITEY'

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Kenneth Lee
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The silent killer, and we've been silent too long. White folks have had to watch their culture being co-opted and appropriated for decades, if not centuries now, and we aren't going to take it anymore. It's time to speak truth to the powerless and re-assert our dominion over the 'nonWhites' (hereinafter referred to as "nons"). Here are some examples to consider:

DANCE: We Whites have Polka, Line Dancing, River Dance, and Ballroom. It's not much and not very interesting, but it's OURS.

MUSIC: We Whites have Country/Western, Hard Rock and Classical and... I guess that's about it. So, we don't want to hear or see any "nons" (possible exceptions: Jimmy Hendrix, Charley Pride and Yo Yo Ma) performing any of the above.

FOOD: We Whites have Hamburgers, Sausages/Hot Dogs, Pizza and anything with Aspartame, Polysorbate 80 or Glyphosate additives. We'd appreciate it if you "nons" would stay away from these "White" foods.

THE ARTS: We Whites have Sculptures, Murals and Paintings depicting famous White people, both current and historical. We love pastels and muted silver and gold colors. Please, "nons", stick to your lime greens, oranges and purples and leave us our drabness.

CLOTHING: We Whites have our Polo Shirts (in pastels only), Blue Jeans, Loafers, Suits and Ties, Baseball Caps and Designer anything. Please, "nons", stick with your sandals (or bare feet), burqas, dashikis, serapes and kimonos.

BEAUTY: We Whites have Tooth Whiteners, Hair Highlighters, Wrinkle Smoothers, Lip Liners and Tanning products. You "nons" probably don't need most of this stuff, so why deplete OUR inventory?

TRANSPORTATION: We Whites have our Pickup Trucks, our fauxgressive EVs, our SUVs, all in muted pastels and pasty silvers and golds. You "nons" need to stick to your brightly-colored flood-damaged econoboxes with bad computers and keep out of OUR lane.

CAREERS: We Whites are the Judges, Lawyers, Politicians and Police. We MAKE and USE the laws, and you "nons" are the recipients. That is the way it is, was and needs to be, so stop trying to horn in on our action.

If you haven't figured it out by now, what you just read is not 'White Rage', but just me poking a little serious fun in my own peculiar way. I dearly wish that NO ONE would ever feel that their uniqueness is being 'appropriated'. Of course it happens, but I think the primary motivators are monetary greed and power. Race happens to be an easily identifiable marker from which to target people, but without those characteristics that identify us as "White" or "non", this would be the most boring planet in the universe.

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Universal skeptic, Vietnam-era draft refuser, all-around good guy.
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