By Charles M. Young
CUSTOMER: I wish to register a complaint.
CLERK: Sorry, mate, it's time for lunch.
CUSTOMER: Never mind about that, my lad. I wish to complain about this pelican that I purchased not half an hour ago from this very Oval Office.
CLERK: What's wrong with it?
CUSTOMER: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead. That's what's wrong with it.
CLERK: Naw, mate, he's resting.
CUSTOMER: I know a dead pelican when I see one. And I'm looking at one right now.
CLERK: No no, he's resting. Remarkable bird, eh? Beautiful plumage.
CUSTOMER: The plumage don't enter into it. He's covered with oil.
CLERK: No, that's his natural color. He's a Louisiana brown...
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