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An Open Letter To Boris Johnson: You're An Ass

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My Dear Boris Ole Chap:

Boris Johnson, you, the Mayor of the City of London is an ass. And I don't like asses. But you're not the hoofed mammal of the horse family with a braying call, typically smaller than a horse, and with longer ears. No, that would be an insult to that meek hardworking and usually industrious animal.

Boris, you're the kind of ass that is genetically unintelligent hence your propensity to bray - the characteristic loud harsh ass's cry. And when individuals like you enter politics you always transform the "pastime of the people" in really negative and noxious ways. To sum up: You're a bloviating loud-mouth politician who just loves the sound of your own voice even though it's as nauseating and nerve-grinding as chalk on a blackboard to everyone else.

Sure Boris ole chap, when you open your mouth, people expect putrid crap to come gushing out, so people just roll up their eyes in exasperation and look upwards to the heaven for some, any, divine intervention just to shut you up. Your big mouth just got you in trouble.

Your recent infantile and racist attack on President Barack Obama was vintage stupidity since your support for Britain leaving the European Union (EU) will impact not just Britain, but America. So your idiotic contention that America's president should not weigh in on the debate and upcoming referendum on June 23 and that he had no right to express his opinions on the matter, is just plain garbage.

By your own logic or illogic if Britain leaves the EU its pivot to a deeper engagement with America juxtaposed with that of the remaining EU countries is a central argument. Indeed, it's an expectation that things will be better for Britain with a recalibrated and ultra-cozy newfangled relationship with your most important ally "across the pond."

But even if you're so inherently predisposed to be dumb as to jettison your own argument and logic, I can't let you get away with the racist screed that you hurled at an underserving president. I understand your reasoning: you want to deflect President Obama's influence, power and the strength of his oratory skills that can persuade many Britons to rethink their position on leaving the EU.

Your fears of America's charismatic president who is more popular in Britain (and London) than you are justified. He can undermine your case for exiting the EU, singlehandedly, and may have done so. So you joined the more extreme elements in the Leave EU Movement to attack the US President even before he opened his mouth.

People like Mike Hookem who lurched into irrational and delusional anti-Americanism, winding the clock back to 1939, arguing without an iota of foundation that the US had it in for the United Kingdom even back then, seeing the Second World War as a way of "smashing the UK's influence in the world." This unhinged diatribe from a prominent UK politician, though uncalled for and petty, demonstrated the fact that lunacy lurks in many quarters in British politics.

So you had to go one better. You could not leave this crap alone. Noooo, you had to show that when it comes to lunacy you, Boris, stand supreme and unchallenged and you could out do anyone in British politics. So you borrowed liberally from Donald Trump's playbook on "How To Really Be A Jackass & Bray Loudly." You twisted Trump's "birther" idiocy tomfoolery and came up with the novel idea to call President Barack Obama "a half-Kenyan" who cannot be trusted because he's filled with "ancestral loathing" of Britain.

Oh heck man, you could just as easily have called him "half-white" or "mulatto." But you had to do the Kenyan thing. You could have even alluded to Britain's colonial past. Now all of Britain and the EU have seen you for what you are: a loud, bombastic, racist ass whose penchant for unnecessary incessant braying has now rendered you the Laughing Stock of the British politics.

And to think that you thought that you're the British "prime minister in waiting" to replace David Cameron at Number 10 Downing Street! President Obama has adroitly put an end to your aspirations. Boris, that's what you get when you tangle with an adult. That's what you get for wallowing in the mud. It's your long overdue comeuppance for calling Black people "piccanannies" in general, and African men in particular, as possessed with "watermelon smiles."

Boris, you'll NEVER EVER reach the level of achievement that this "half-Kenyan" has reached. And I know that that irks the hell out of you. You're a jealous, hate-filled pseudo-Caucasian ass masquerading as a human being. Now you'll never be prime minister of Britain because people have seen through you; they've removed the mask to expose the ass underneath -- a crude, obnoxious, hoofed mammal not given to intelligence and renowned for its obstinacy.

In the end the people of United Kingdom will decide if to leave or stay in the EU. The American president has made his views known with respect and tact. He's not dictated to the British people, ever sensitive to the obvious claims of "meddling." But because America is being drawn into this situation and Europe remains an important trading -- and military -- partner, President Obama had every right to speak to this issue.

Boris, you can't have to both ways: you want to leave and one of the conditions for leaving the EU, from you and your fellow "Leave Movement," is to form a stronger trading and economic bond with America. But you don't want America to have a say in how it feels about this new relationship. That's why I don't like asses, Boris. They don't make sense.

Thing is that eight former US Treasury secretaries warned that Britain's leaving the EU will be a critical threat to the global economy. And while you and your supporters called the US president a hypocrite, you did not allude that the all-Caucasian former secretaries were "half-Irish, half-Jewish or half-German." Oh, and by the way Boris, President Obama's article in the Daily Telegraph about how America's sacrifices for Europe in two world wars gave him the right to make his case, is, well, spot on. Only an ingrate would think less. Boris, we saved your butts when Hitler and company was giving you real hell.

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MICHAEL DERK ROBERTS Small Business Consultant, Editor, and Social Media & Communications Expert, New York Over the past 20 years I've been a top SMALL BUSINESS CONSULTANT and POLITICAL CAMPAIGN STRATEGIST in Brooklyn, New York, running (more...)

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