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American Politics for Dummies--A Guide to Pre-hysterical Legislation in the U.S.

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(1) Any fool can interpret the Constitution, but not all fools can read it!

  Source: Most recent U.S. Supreme Court rulings!

(2) Elected officials and legislators are not qualified to write laws, but, unfortunately, neither is anyone else.

Source: (a) The Civil Rights Act dictating whom one must serve in his own place of business. Instead, the law should have prohibited the owner from using any public service, utility or public road that the victims of his bigotry help to support!

  (b) Most recent U.S. Supreme Court rulings!

  (c) The U.S. Supreme Court writing new law in "Citizens United" permitting unlimited bribery of public officials through unlimited and anonymous campaign donations!

(3) One can obtain anything one wants from the FDA for twenty dollars and oral sex. In cases of hardship, they will generously waive the twenty dollars.

Source: (a) Hundreds of drug prices drastically increased by pharmaceutical companies in anticipation of Affordable Care Act freezes on prices.

  (b) Pharmaceutical companies still permitted to pay generic companies bribes to withhold the lower-priced generics from the market for as long as possible. 

(4) What do you call a legislator who votes to pass a "Stand Your Ground Law," fully aware that innocent victims will be killed?

Answer: An "accessory before the fact" to negligent homicide and depraved indifference!

Source: (a) Trayvon Martin's needless homicide by the borderline mentally deficient George Zimmerman.

  (b) Execution of innocent teenager by the enraged Michael Dunn, knowing he could use the law to legally kill.

  (c) Execution of moviegoer in theater, whose murderer claimed he was in fear of his life because of all the popcorn thrown at him!

(5) What do most of these legislators have in common?

   Answer: They proclaim themselves "Christians" as Jesus calmly partakes of another Alka Seltzer!

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Dr. Allen Finkelstein, writing since 2006 under the penname “O’finky,” was born in New York, where he attended the Hebrew Academy of Nassau County as a boy. He continued his religious training in South Florida until his family, (more...)

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