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Life Arts    H4'ed 4/28/11

Advice for Camilla Parker Bowles: Stepmoms Are Rooting For You at The Royal Weddings:

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Even if you are a member of the royal family, when you are the stepmom, we all get treated the same way.   What should you do with us?   

 It is a topic that has stumped people throughout the royal ages.   Should we walk down the aisle?   Or, should we just be seated up front?   Do we shop for the wedding dress with the bride?   Never!   Do we make a toast?   Where do we sit?   Are we thanked at the wedding? Most of all, how do we make sure that the biological mother is honored and that no one gets confused.   Know your place.  

Know one thing for sure.   All of us will be the subjects of gossip at the wedding.   Believe me, Camilla, you will get verbally abused from morning to sunset on April 29th.   The nice thing is that you are not alone.   We are in this together.   But, let me give you some solid advice.   You need to have a bit of a drink.   You don't want to be sloppy drunk, but a professional "buzz' is necessary.   I think you have been saved from the "seating' issue, but for most of us, it is fun to decide where to seat us.   We are always at a parent table, but just a "step" (pun) away from the actual bride and groom.   I am thinking that you will be in the same boat.

Camilla, I do not believe that you will be giving a toast.   None of us do.   Really, who wants to hear our thoughts on the matter and it creates a power move.   How awkward!   In fact, our mere presence is AWKWARD!   In your case, I am afraid it is even worse.   You will be competing with Princess Diana.   Kate is wearing Diana's ring and travelling in Diana's wedding carriage.   I guarantee you that your outfit will be compared over and over again to what Diana may have worn.   You cannot win.  

Here is what will not be discussed.   Your lovely relationship with Kate will not be mentioned.   The fact that you love her and are a support to her is just not fun to discuss.   Your knowledge about the media and the pressures of a royal life will be invaluable to her in the future.   The rest of us stepmoms also have wisdom to share, but you rarely hear about us either. You do not hear about how deeply we love our stepchildren.   After all, talking about the support from stepparents is a big bore.   No one believes it anyway.

What is the best advice?   Keep your head and your hat down.   Try to stay out of the spotlight and stay quiet.   It is a winning formula for all of us stepmoms.

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I am a life coach who dedicates my practice to step families. My practice is called "The Evil Stepmother Speaks". It's the home for practical advice for step families who want to LOVE and LAUGH. My mission is "saving the world, one step family at a (more...)
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