236 online
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 33 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
General News    H3'ed 4/1/13


By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)   3 comments
Message John Moffett
Become a Fan
  (20 fans)

(Image by John Moffett)   Details   DMCA

by John Moffett

April 1st, Washington DC

In ongoing efforts to monetize everything, the Obama Administration has implemented longstanding plans to incorporate the US Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines into a single publicly traded corporation under the title Armed Industries Inc. The initial IPO for the stock (ticker ARMY) is set for later today, and is expected to shatter records for all previous IPOs combined. President Obama announced the IPO in the Rose Garden late last Friday in a joint press conference with industry leaders and key senators on the finance committee. No press were permitted at the event.

A spokesperson for the corporation said that some layoffs are expected during the reorganization, and that in order to increase revenue streams the new financial giant is scheduled to open an online retail outlet for foreign armies and dictators to purchase the excess equipment and spare parts that have been stockpiled, but are currently unusable by the US military because of vast over-ordering of unneeded equipment and replacement parts for discontinued vehicles. All sales final, local taxes apply.

To mark the occasion the Obama Administration has declared April 1st as Drone Appreciation Day.

Must Read 1   Funny 1   Inspiring 1  
Rate It | View Ratings

John Moffett Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

John R. Moffett PhD is a research neuroscientist in the Washington, DC area. Dr. Moffett's main area of research focuses on the brain metabolite N-acetylaspartate, and an associated genetic disorder known as Canavan disease.

Related Topic(s): Army, Add Tags
Add to My Group(s)
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Are Dogs Carnivores?

Was it Nanotech-Thermite or Phasers that took down the WTC?

President Obama's Complete Dismissal of the Progressive Agenda

"HTTPS Everywhere" More secure browsing courtesy of the EFF and Tor

Is Your Computer Ready for the Confiker Virus on April 1st?

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend