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A Litmus Test For Prospective Republican Congressional Candidates

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To qualify to be a candidate and run for the U.S. Congress as a Republican is not an easy task these days, even for those with seemingly impeccable credentials. You have to be a special breed of American, one who will commit to a rigid, unbending, uncompromising political ideology like no other. And, above all, you must be prepared to take and pass a special litmus test before you can even be considered.

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So here is that special litmus test that has been specifically designed for potential GOP candidates who wish to enter the U.S. Congress. Interested individuals must take this difficult test and answer the following very pertinent questions to determine if they are in full agreement with the twisted political ideology of the GOP.

*Will you do all that you can to destroy Social Security? Do you agree with the Republican stance that this government "entitlement" program that has benefited many millions of Americans should be totally eliminated and the funds that citizens have contributed over the years should be transferred into a new program that will invest them in Wall Street stocks, bonds and derivatives? Are you cognizant of the fact that this must be done because the government refuses to repay the $2.5 trillion to the Social Security Trust Fund that it "borrowed" over the past decades?

*Will you band together with your Republican brothers to dismantle Medicare? Do you agree with the belief that this highly successful medical program that has probably saved or extended the lives of many millions of Americans must be eliminated? Do you further agree that government's involvement in any social program that benefits the American people is a dangerous socialist concept that violates the principles of the Ayn Rand doctrine?

*Will you solemnly swear to support John Boehner and his Tea Party tyrants to force this country into a financial catastrophe if those hated Democrats and their even more deeply hated President Obama refuse to repeal the Affordable Care Act, that hateful socialistic program we have labeled as ObamaCare? Will you do everything in your power to fight against any form of universal health care for all Americans because, as enlightened Americans know, it is not necessary as we already have the best and most inclusive system in the entire world?

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*Will you commit yourself to the task of slashing the food stamp program that is helping 50 million struggling Americans to survive, 76% of recipients who are children, senior citizens and disabled Americans? That we need to get these kinds of Americans to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps instead of continuing to let the government and the taxpayers of America take care of them? Enough is enough.

*Will you join in the effort in which Republican governors and GOP-controlled state legislatures are passing numerous law that are clearly designed to suppress or eliminate the voting rights of many millions of Americans? Are you fully in agreement that this must be done to neutralize the growing power of the increasing numbers of minorities in this country who want nothing to do with and simply won't accept the Republican ideology?

*Will you support the Republican efforts to continue to force America's college students to continue to pay extremely high rates of interest on student loans that now, collectively, total nearly $1 trillion? That what we need in this country are far more of the type of students who attend Harvard, Yale, Princeton and other prestigious schools and don't need to ask others for help to get an education?

*Will you align yourself with your fellow GOP party members to institute policies and laws to prevent the women of America from controlling their own bodies and the way that they conduct their lives? Do you agree with the belief that these women have overstepped their bounds and need to be reined in before this situation gets totally out of control? As we know, once you let them out of the kitchens then all the problems start; this dire situation cannot be allowed to go any further.

*If you run for the U.S. Senate will you swear that you will support the Republican agenda to filibuster every attempt to create new jobs for desperate Americans? And will you stand by the GOP leadership's close alliance with Corporate America to continue to outsource massive numbers of American jobs to China, India, Bangladesh and other overseas nations?

*If you run for the house will you swear to follow the agenda of the emerging powers of the GOP membership, aka the Tea Party, to object to everything the government is doing and help in the effort to dismantle it entirely; except to use this new, limited government as the facilitator and funding mechanism for America's agenda of perpetual war and expansion of its massive empire of bases?

*Will you absolutely declare your total allegiance to Corporate America and do everything in your power to advance its objectives and its special interests above all else; and will you promise that you will never allow the interests and needs of the American people to deter you from what must be considered your main mission, i.e., whatever the masters of Corporatism propose?

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*And, finally, do you fully agree that the Democratic Party is directly responsible for every major problem that this country faces and that it represents a monumental danger and threat to the future of this country?

Now, when you have completed this test it will be examined by a panel of prominent Republicans who have created these questions in the hope of attracting those kind of Americans who reflect great patriotism, love of country, those who reflect the best family values, who regularly attend church and follow the principles of ethics and morality; in other words the best, most outstanding and exceptional citizens that exist in this, the greatest country on the face of the earth. Those who do not possess these unique qualities and characteristics need not apply.

After this prestigious panel finishes the review of all candidates, it will announce those who have qualified, who will then be certified to run for office as Republican candidates for office. Now, for those who qualify and express the desire, they will be eligible for a further, much more intensive and difficult test in order to achieve the next higher level of party brinksmanship and obstruction and be inducted into the Tea Party.

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Michael Payne is an independent, progressive activist. His writings deal with social, economic, political and foreign policy issues. He is a featured writer on Opednews and Nation of Change and his articles have appeared on many other websites (more...)

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