Satire -- Eight Hundred Thousand People with Dreams to Be Deported

Eight hundred thousand people with dreams will be deported by one person with delusions, sources confirmed on Tuesday. According to reports, U.S. residents who have obtained advanced degrees, served in the military, and saved people from Hurricane Harvey will be kicked out of the country by a man who believes that his microwave is spying on him. The delusional man defended his controversial decision late Tuesday afternoon, accompanied by several key voices in his head. “The people I am deporting are parasites who have exploited our economy,” the man, who has declared bankruptcy six times, said.