Borowitz Satire: Trump's Slurred Speech Tied to Low Battery in Putin's Remote

Speaking to the White House press corps, press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said that Trump’s slurred speech was “a case of what happens when President Putin doesn’t change the batteries in his remote frequently enough. President Trump makes public appearances several times a day,” Sanders said. “In the course of those appearances, President Putin’s remote can drain its battery very quickly.” Calling Putin’s remote-control operation of Trump “far from glitch-free,” Sanders said that there have also been problems with the Russian leader’s attempts to control Trump’s thumbs when he tweets in the early-morning hours. “Sometimes  Putin has tried to operate Trump’s thumbs and there has been the same low-battery issue. This has resulted in random capital letters, misspellings, and, in some cases, gibberish.”