Borowitz Satire -- Man Wins "Why Trump Shouldn't Go to Prison" Essay Contest

Brett Kavanaugh won a nationwide essay contest on the topic “Why Donald Trump Shouldn’t Go to Prison.” He received his award at a White House ceremony on Monday night. His essay, which was distributed to the press shortly after he was announced as the winner, reads as follows: “Donald J. Trump should never go to prison because he is the President of the United States and the President of the United States is a very important person in the country. It would look bad if visitors from foreign countries came to the United States and asked, ‘Where is your President?’ and we had to say, ‘He is in prison,’ which in my opinion is another reason Donald J. Trump should not go to prison. For these reasons, if I am ever in a position to keep Donald J. Trump from going to prison, I will do that (keep him from going to prison).”