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The Republican Debate That Wasn't

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“Do you trust the mainstream media?” Was one of the questions asked during the Republican Presidential debate this evening. I expected to her in reply; “My good Sir or Madam, "We Control the Mainstream Media, of course we trust it" . That was not the answer Rep. Ron Paul gave, instead he said not really, that he "trusts the internet more". Good answer.

That was one of the only good answers of the evening. We heard just about every candidate proclaim that the government should be the decider in a woman’s right to carry a child full-term, while also hearing that the Federal government should have less power. That’s a good trick. We also heard almost every candidate say that they want to bring back “family values”. Just how does a President do that? That’s also a good trick. I wonder if they will appoint family censors to sit in living rooms to make sure that families actually have values.

The one part of the debate that was also unanimous was the call for a stronger military. I actually heard Mit Romney say that he would increase the military budget. Increase the military budget? My god, we already spend sixteen times more than our nearest competitor and more than almost every nation in the world combined. Tell me this; how will more money help make our military any stronger? In my humble opinion, getting us out of Iraq might help us a whole lot.

McCain was a real cowboy. He showed his obvious love for Joe Lieberman. We didn’t hear one word about defeat in Iraq from this man. In fact he told us twice, that if a bill came to him with pork barrel subsidies that he would veto that bill and make the person that put in the pork the most well-known man in Washington. Yes Sir, you won’t mess with Sheriff McCain. He sounds like one tough hombre. Why he declared that he can work with the Democrats across the aisle. I guess he means the ones that are for the war. Again that leaves Joe Lieberman. When asked what Democrats he would let in his cabinet, you guessed it; Joe Lieberman. (In fact he said it three times when asked what three Democrats he would bring in).

Rudy Giuliani personally hates abortion but he defends the woman’s right to choose. Big of you Rudy. When asked who believes in evolution, almost all raised their hands. Still, John McCain had to qualify that vote for evolution by saying that when he walks through the Grand Canyon, he see’s God’s hand over the horizon. He doesn’t know it, but that’s God waving goodbye to any chance of him becoming the Republican candidate. Some people have to win, and some people have to lose, and McCain got this losing thing down to a fine art.

They all agreed that President Bush is doing the best he can for this country and that he is a principled man. Right, and I’ve got a bridge I need to sell in Brooklyn. One of the most demonic men that I have ever heard speak was that guy Rep. Tom Tancredo. I say that because they asked the panel what would be the “trip wire” for starting a military strike against Iran, Tancredo said that they have already walked on that trip wire. I guess anyone can get into that race. Tommy Thompson said that it would be alright for an employer to fire someone for being gay. I wonder if he would think it was OK for someone to be fired for being stupid? Wasn’t he once the Director of Homeland Security?

Ron Paul who voted against the Authorization for the Use of Force in Iraq made it abundantly clear that he doesn’t always think clearly. Same with McCain (or did I say that already?). Mit Romney in his closing notes spread out his hands and said in his most passionate and earnest voice that he wants to strengthen the American Family and to provide a bigger budget for the military; Now I’m starting to repeat myself. I guess what I’m trying to say is that they really didn’t have much to talk about. What a wasted hour. I would have been better off watching “The Sex Life of a Tsetse Fly on the Discovery Channel.


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Tim Gatto is Ret. US Army and has been writing against the Duopoly for the last decade. He has two books on Amazon, Kimchee Days or Stoned Colds Warriors and Complicity to Contempt.

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