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Poll by Pollster Steve Young

"Would you agree a dunk in water is a no-brainer if it can save lives?"
Scott Hennen of WDAY, Fargo, N.D.,

"Well, it's a no-brainer for me."
Dick Cheney

. While many on the far-left, are trying to turn the Vice President's words into some kind of referendum on whether the VP condones torture, the administration does nothing of the sort as proven by White House spokesperson, Tony Snow, in response to a reporter's question yesterday..

"A dunk in the water is a dunk in the water."


CNN's Far-left Hate Americaist™, Wolf Blitzer, even put the Vice President's wife through the "dunk-in-the-water* ringer.

"A complete distortion!"
Lynne Cheney (in the "Situation Room")

In the old days of a traditionalist™ America, that would have ended the controversy, but in today's world of the elite, liberal, mainstream media™, it seems that believing what our trusted leaders want us to believe, is not to be believed.

So it is, that we once again turn to scientifically-accumulated data to prove once and for all what Vice President Cheney meant...The Award-Winning* Poll**

Please choose which explanation best describes what the Vice President meant when he said that "a dunk in the water" is "a no-brainer." You may, if you choose, add a write-in interpretation not already listed.

IMPORTANT: Please do not enlist petty political partisanship as it will skew the final tally.

1. Who died and left you the interpreter of the Vice-President's thoughts?

2. Tell me you've never dunked a friend in the pool.

3. Duncan Dawater is a friend of Mr. Cheney's from Wyoming and was born, sadly, lacking medulla and cerebral cortex. You have a problem with making fun of Michael J. Fox but a person who lies in a near vegetative state, that you're fine with. Hypocrite.

4. He meant "a dunk in the water is NOT a no-brainer." Since when is leaving out a word a crime?

5. It was a joke. Doesn't anyone on the left have a sense of humor? Jeesh.

6. Better he should say that "the insurgency, if you will, is in its last throes?"

7. Now I guess, we need to prohibit the "hit the bulls-eye and dunk your principal" booths at school fairs and festivals where the money collected goes to buy essential items for financially-strapped, public education. You liberals cry bloody murder over what you call "underfunded," sham, No-Child-Left-Behind legislation and when we try to raise sorely-needed funding for the kids - in a fun way, mind you - you complain that it's some kind of torture. Now who's the sham? Come on. Who?

8. You can dunk a donut but not a terrorist? Tell me how that makes any sense.

9. Excuse me, but when did baptism become a torture technique? Is it any wonder that secular-progressives™ - SPs™ if you will - are ruining the America that our soldiers are fighting and dying for? You undermine religion, you undermine our troops. Ah, why don't you just move to France, you Blame American First'r™?

10. Now, I guess, drowning cats is also torture.

11. The "no-brainer" comment referred to the President. Mr. Bush may be thick, but he by no means, a torture method.

* "Award-winning" refers to the which I'm sure has won some kind of award.
** The Poll is an absolutely legitimate poll that I made up.

Pollster Steve Young is an award-winning*** TV writer and author of "Great Failure of the Extremely Successful"

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