Everyone's a Comedian: How to Pick a Presidential Candidate

Frequently Letters to the Editor are quite funny and clever.  I love this one from today's [1/15] Los Angeles Daily News that begged to be expanded.

http://www.dailynews.com/letters/ci_7970025

Voters' Guide 

Can't decide which candidate to vote for in the primary? Here's an illustration to help. If a fire were burning on the White House lawn, here's how each of the candidates would react:

Clinton - The Republicans started that fire and it would be divisive of me to put it out.

Obama - Let's try diplomatic means to extinguish the blaze.

Edwards - I'm not going to get rid of the blaze, but I'll apologize for it later.

Kucinich - He put the fire out immediately, but you only heard about it on Air America and Public Radio.

- Elaine Berman, Sherman Oaks

Republican candidates are conspicusously absent, so for all the Republicans, here's your quick picks in this presidential horserace.

Giuliani: A spark left over from 9/11 started it, so you can count on NYFD to put it out the minute they find a working radio.

McCain: Fire is his "friend," he supports people like Bush who've burned him.

Romney: Will put the H.O.V.F.D. (Harem of Volunteers) right on it as soon as they get done arguing about what to wear.

Huckabee: Will pray for rain.

Paul: In spite of the hype from his supporters, he'll show up last.

Thompson: Will send in the D.A. because it's an arson fire.