Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 6 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
Exclusive to OpEd News:
OpEdNews Op Eds   

Bush's bottom breached: Cheney takes top position

By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)   1 comment
Message Richard Mathis
Become a Fan
  (1 fan)
President Bush underwent a routine colonoscopy today. Doctors made a surprising discovery. They found his long lost brain as in good of shape as ever.

About the size of a pea, a high colonic was able to lodge the brain free from where it had been impacted. Doctors theorize that Bush had had his head up his butt for so long that his brain had dislodged during severe cerebral strain induced by attempting to express a coherent sentence. They said the stuck brain would also explain his severe myopia and inability to hear a thing anybody said.

However, doctors disagree if the condition was the result of a congenital anal defect or an outbreak of acute bovine encephalitis. They can't decide if he's a born ass or if his head is simply full of bull$#!+.

Regarding the procedure, White House spokesman Tony Snow said "The president wants to encourage everybody to use surveillance." Funny. The way most Americans feel about Bush's secret government spying on them, they already feel like they're in the middle of a colonoscopy with big brother way too far up their private business.

Meanwhile, Vice President Dick Cheney was able finally to openly show he's in charge at the White House. At least. that is, while Bush is down for the count on the colonoscopy. One ass down, one up. Cheney will not be undergoing a colonoscopy as doctors are still hotly debating which orifice would serve as best entrance.
Rate It | View Ratings

Richard Mathis Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

B. 1952, GA, USA. D. To Be Determined. Beloved husband, father, grandfather, lover, confidant and friend of many from bikers to Zen masters; American writer and speaker, known for his criticism of Mammon's unholy trinity of big business, big (more...)
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Will gay unfriendly Southern Baptists expel King James?

Limbaugh: I Hope Obama Fails

Pat Buchanan blames too much tolerance for Cho's killing rampage

Better Dead Than Red : Burn Your Medicare Card in Protest

Republicans claim Martin Luther King, Jr. as their Own

Limbaugh rushes firmly behind Foley

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend