To: George W. Bush
From: Lucifer B. Mephistopheles de Mammon
Re: Osama and al-Qaeda's deepest gratitude
Osama wants to thank you from the bottom of his hellish heart. Of course, things being what they are, he can't do it in person. Since I daily talk to both of you, I agreed to pass along a message of appreciation just for you, big decider.
Osama thanks you for helping achieving his objectives of:
Invading a Muslim country for fun and profit
Taking out Saddam Hussein and destabilizing the Saudi's biggest competitor
Bleeding America into bankruptcy
Rallying Muslims against America
Uniting even Shiites and Sunnis
Supporting Israel no matter what
Dividing America into warring camps
Turning worldwide support after 9/11 into worldwide condemnation
Torturing and violating the Geneva Convention
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