Im saying aloud, Of course, we had to carpet bomb Iraq and kill thousands of men, women, and children.
Just think of all the Iraqis who posed a threat to my freedoms. My God, some of those women were pregnant, about to give birth to little Iraqis who would grow up to be big Iraqis who would be jealous of my freedoms.
I received an e-mail recently from someone who doesnt like my writingsa person ripping me because, thanks to George W., I have the freedom to sit in front of my word processor and criticize. So, Im pretending that the e-mailer is absolutely right. Those Iraqis, most assuredly, were planning to take away my freedoms to write and criticize George Bush. So, I, indeed, should be grateful to the president and the person who wrote to remind me that I need to look within, have an epiphany, and show my unwavering support for the man who is protecting my freedoms.
Thus, Im having a very persuasive talk with myself. A debate. Im going over the pros and cons. And the more I think about the reasons to like George Bush, the easier it becomes to watch him on television. The easier it is to listen to him speak. The easier it is to welcome his saying he regrets bring em on and other cowpoke lingo (or is this just average Joe jargon?) and appreciate that he strives to use more sophisticated language. Im beginning to admire the man who obviously values self-improvement. I mean look at what hes just said about convincing Iran to stop its uranium enrichment program: if they continue their obstinance, if they continue to say to the world, we really dont care what your opinion is, then the world is going to act in concert. Hes sounding pretty urbane (how about that word, concert?) so, I have to toast this president with a bring it on affirmation.
Yes, yes, yes, ooh, ah, I feel like Meg Ryan in that fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally. Now, that was some fine acting. Im going to practice by saying, Theyre jealous of my freedoms. Over and over, maybe, emoting a little more each time. Ill practice this in the mirror.
