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George Bush's Praise the Lord Presidency

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Message Missy Beattie
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Some years ago, I moved to a community with a church on every corner. Soon, several people asked, "Have you found your church home?"

"My what?"

"Your church home--your home away from home."

I should've answered in the affirmative because what ensued when I shook my head was a list of suggestions, many of which were fundamentalist establishments.

My husband and I settled in, buying a house that needed much more work than we realized. In fact, it was a sinkhole--a veritable money pit. When it rained, several rooms took a hit of water. We hired a roofer and after solving that major problem, I found a painter who would become someone I saw every week-day for the next six months. "You've got yourself a handyman," he said.

Repeatedly, he told me he bought the highest quality materials. Repeatedly, he said, "You can trust me." Repeatedly, he remarked, "I'd never cheat you. I'm a Christian." I believed him.

At some point when I mentioned needing some kitchen renovation, he said he could do it all. "You want a bay window?" he asked.

"Who wouldn't?" I said. I wrote a large check and he was off to Home Depot to place the order.

Within a few days, I decided I really didn't need to spend the money nor could I endure the ordeal of a kitchen makeover. Instead, I talked my husband into downsizing. He agreed we should look for a house that was more manageable.

I called my 'handyman' and told him to cancel the order for the window. He said it was too late.

I hung up and, then, a few minutes later, phoned Home Depot. I gave them his name, explained that I'd changed my mind, and they pulled the information on their computer. "No problem," the salesman told me. He'd just refund the $200. check to my 'handyman.'

"There must be some mistake." I said. He told me he paid $1,300. for it."

I'd been snookered--by a born-again.

When we moved into the house that required less maintenance, we decided a fresh coat of paint was all that was needed in some of the rooms. I got several estimates. One man handed me a card that read, 'Praise the lord Painting Company.' I turned him down flat and trashed the card.

I cringed when George Bush said Jesus was his favorite philosopher during the campaign for his party's nomination in the 2000 presidential race. I could just picture a 'Praise the Lord Presidency.'

Just as my 'handyman' was my employee, Bush now is. I pay his salary and I maintain his house.

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Missy Beattie lives in New York City. She's written for National Public Radio and Nashville Life Magazine. An outspoken critic of the Bush Administration and the war in Iraq, she's a member of Gold Star Families for Peace. She completed a (more...)
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