Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 8 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds   

Ho, ho, ho: The end of racism and sexism

By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)   2 comments
Message Mickey Z.
Become a Fan
  (6 fans)

The twin specters of racism and sexism have plagued mankind, uh, humanity since caveman, uh, caveperson days. Just when we thought we might have to endure another forty or fifty thousand years of patriarchal white supremacy, along comes the visionaries our planet has yearned for: Russell Simmons and Benjamin Chavis.


Leaders of the influential Hip-Hop Summit Action Network, Simmons and Chavis have put forth a solution so simple even a cracker, oops, an uneducated white person might understand it. If a word offends you or anyone you know, ban it. (Man, why didn't Malcolm X and Gloria Steinem think of that?) In particular, our hip-hop heroes are targeting three specific words. I'll write them now before they're outlawed: b*tch, ho, and n-word (a.k.a. the N-Word). Go ahead, beyotches, yell 'em long and loud now because if society follows the sage advice of Messrs. Simmons and Chavis, the next "ho" out of your mouth might get you a taste of the Don Imus treatment.


"These three words should be considered with the same objections to obscenity as 'extreme curse words,' " say Simmons and Chavis but, in fairness, these two philosophers can't take all the credit. The New York City Council, in its infinite wisdom, recently conjured up a plan to end racism as we know it: ban niggers. I mean: ban "n-word." (My bad.) What better way for elected officials to spread democracy than to forbid the use of certain words? "Our internal discussions with industry leaders are not about censorship," Simmons and Chavis assure us.


I say, why stop with bitches, ho's, and niggers? Let's take this strategy to its natural conclusion and ban "war" and "poverty" and "rape" and "genocide" and "oppression," We'll even ban "global warming" if Al Gore promises to finally shut his redneck mouth (all right, perhaps we'll ban "redneck," too). sh*t, after only an hour or so of work, the planet will be a goddamned equalitarian paradise and we can all get back to our couches, our flat-screens, and our remote controls.


Of course, it's not all good news. Like most prophets, Simmons and Chavis are facing resistance. Dog breeders are really bitching, Samuel L. Jackson is petitioning for a "nigga" exemption, and insiders are expecting to hear from lawyers at the North Pole. It appears banning "ho" just might present some copyright issues with a certain fat man in a red suit. Oops, can I still say "fat"?


Mickey Z. can be found here:

Rate It | View Ratings

Mickey Z. Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Mickey Z. can be found on the Web at
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Five reasons why Americans won't resist

The Topic of Cancer

"We need to stop this culture before it kills the planet": A conversation with Derrick Jensen

Porn and the CIA (Your tax dollars at work)

Myth America: A Stand-up Tragedy

Downsize or Modify? A Conversation with Noam Chomsky

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend