Unless Bush can get Bin Laden back on the payroll, his second
term will be as successful as his Dads. There is only one way
to fix this mess. Dubya must turn to the dark side. And not Karl
Rove. I mean Reality Television.
Ashton Kutcher: Thats right, America. You have been Bushd.
You are so easy! You really believed we are fighting a war in
Iraq and even losing. Cmon, we have been putting you on.
So. let me pull a Scooter Libby and out our secret agent.
Kicking off his I Was Kidding tour. Lets welcome Dubya Bush.
Dubya: Thank You, Asston. Im sorry, that was my
nickname for you. Wasnt supposed to say that. I take full
responsibility. Karl said I would blow up if I ever did that. Nope,
Im the same weight as ever.
Ashton: Why now? It isnt even sweeps week, Dude.
Dubya: They took the block off my news channels, and someone
asked how many should die for a lie. And I thought, 200 is about
right. That was my SAT score.
Ashton: Uh, Dubya, it is more like 2000.
Dubya: Damn CIA, lying again. How many have to die before I
figure that out?
Ashton, Uh, 2000.
Dubya: Youre good. Want to run the Treasury?
Ashton: Im not moving to China. Dude, you are totally in debate
mode. Feel like answering my question? Why now?
Dubya: Sorry, I keep waiting for the voice in my head to give me
the answer. Sometimes the wires short out. Why do we do
anything? For money. I tried to pay off our debt the way I
always have, sell the company to one of Daddys friends. This
time, even the Saudis dont want to buy us. I guess already
owning us is their latest excuse.
Lets be honest here. Ouch. Everytime I say that, something
shocks me. But we are actually losing to Iraq. That is like
losing to the Washington Generals. So, as with the war on
drugs, its time to be honest. Wars over, we lost, lets party.
Ashton: I thought you quit partying.
Dubya: Woo hoo, I punkd the punk. One thing yall should know
about me, Im no quitter. God put Lone Star Beer on this planet
for a reason. Besides making Laura look good.
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Rob Kall is an award winning journalist, inventor, software architect,
connector and visionary. His work and his writing have been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, CNN, ABC, the HuffingtonPost, Success, Discover and other media.
Check out his platform at RobKall.com
He is the author of The Bottom-up Revolution; Mastering the Emerging World of Connectivity
He's given talks and workshops to Fortune
500 execs and national medical and psychological organizations, and pioneered
first-of-their-kind conferences in Positive Psychology, Brain Science and
Story. He hosts some of the world's smartest, most interesting and powerful
people on his Bottom Up Radio Show,
and founded and publishes one of the top Google- ranked progressive news and
opinion sites, OpEdNews.com
more detailed bio:
Rob Kall has spent his adult life as an awakener and empowerer-- first in the field of biofeedback, inventing products, developing software and a music recording label, MuPsych, within the company he founded in 1978-- Futurehealth, and founding, organizing and running 3 conferences: Winter Brain, on Neurofeedback and consciousness, Optimal Functioning and Positive Psychology (a pioneer in the field of Positive Psychology, first presenting workshops on it in 1985) and Storycon Summit Meeting on the Art Science and Application of Story-- each the first of their kind. Then, when he found the process of raising people's consciousness and empowering them to take more control of their lives one person at a time was too slow, he founded Opednews.com-- which has been the top search result on Google for the terms liberal news and progressive opinion for several years. Rob began his Bottom-up Radio show, broadcast on WNJC 1360 AM to Metro Philly, also available on iTunes, covering the transition of our culture, business and world from predominantly Top-down (hierarchical, centralized, authoritarian, patriarchal, big) to bottom-up (egalitarian, local, interdependent, grassroots, archetypal feminine and small.) Recent long-term projects include a book, Bottom-up-- The Connection Revolution, debillionairizing the planet and the Psychopathy Defense and Optimization (more...)