On Wednesday, 18 October 2006, G. W. Bush granted an interview to Bill O'Reilly of Fox News. In light of delicious news about Republican party peccadilloes, homosexual aides and members outside the closet, Bush sought to reinvigorate the panic button base. However instead of being his sycophantic self, Mr. O'Reilly exposed some of the Bush lies, double-speak, and disassembling. As a result, what looked to be a standard re-run of some Bushevik telenovela, All My Iraqi Children or As the Jihad Turns, morphed into a sit-com where Bush was forced to Jump the Shark [?] - without a stand-in. And with his ratings in the low 30s, which is higher than the field for the Republican Congress, I imagine that soon Bush, Coach Hastert and Fonzie will be commiserating at the ranch.
The following is an annotated excerpt from the Life with O'Reilly's Factor episode that ran on 17 October 2006 (redacted transcript posted on 20 October 2006).
O'REILLY: Today, you're signing the [Military Commissions Act] ... that gives the Bush administration - and subsequent administrations - the military tribunal option in bringing suspected terrorists to justice [sic]. Your administration has been accused of being fascist, violating human rights, ignoring the Geneva Convention ... [why has there been] a fierce campaign against this policy?
GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't know. ... I - you know, I - look, after 9/11, I vowed to protect this country. And when we pick up somebody on the battlefield, we want to know what that person knows. And we can find information without torturing that person. And we have found useful information necessary to protect the American people.
As you know, we picked up a fellow named Khalid Sheik Mohammed. Intelligence folks believe or suspect that he was a person that masterminded the 9/11 attacks. I believe [that] they (the terrorists!?) are coming again. ... therefore, [I] had a program in place that said "we'll question these people."
[Bush Jumps Shark: Take One
Move a pile of manure, I just did: Point one, Bush has defined "the battlefield" as anywhere on the planet. Secondly as FBI officials and other interrogators know, and as Bush says "we can find information without torturing that person." Nevertheless he advocated for and signed a bill that grants immunity to him and every other American or American employee who tortured and abused people (see section 948d(a)). Third, I like Bush's reference to KSM as merely a suspect. On a myriad of other instances, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Alberto Gonzalez have called KSM the mastermind of 9/11. Now it is only that others suspect him. I wonder if they suspect him due to a willing confession? ]
BO: Now Brian Ross of ABC said - reported the CIA waterboarded [KSM]. That is dunked him in water, tied him down and then that broke him. Is that true?
GWB: We don't talk about techniques. And the reason we don't talk about techniques is because we don't want the enemy to be able to adjust. We're in a war.
[Bush Jumps Shark: Take Two
Shark Tank sighting: If any human being can adapt to being tortured ... I guess super, Islamo-fascists can. Or maybe Fox News watchers are most immune to torture when it comes in the form of abuse of the English language and logic. Regardless, if the enemy is so smart, won't the battle-ready terrorists already suspect that the U.S. uses waterboarding (which usually results in loss of consciousness and vomiting when done correctly)? Nevertheless I am glad that Bush will not confirm the use of one particular torture technique that means the Islamo-terrorists will have to learn all the American tricks by translating the Spanish-language torture manuals used at the School of the Assassins (Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation) in Fort Benning, Georgia. ¿Se habla Español Osama?]
BO: Is waterboarding torture?
GWB: ... we were within the law. And we don't torture. We - I've said all along to the American people we won't torture, but we need to be in a position where we can interrogate these people.
[Bush Jumps Shark: Take Three
Don't forget the life vest: See we do waterboarding, but if I keep telling you that it's not torture, then you should believe me. Who is asking anyway, some agent of Goldstein?]
BO: But if the public doesn't know what torture is or is not, as defined by the Bush administration, how can the public make a decision on whether your policy is right or wrong?
[News Flash: O'Reilly asks a real question it's nascent journalism budding at Fox!]
GWB: Well, one thing is that you can rest assured we're not going to talk about the techniques we use in a public forum. No matter how hard you try because I don't want the enemy to be able to adjust their tactics if we capture them on the battlefield.
[You already said that W.]
But what the American people need to know is we've got a program in place that is able to get intelligence from these people. And we've used it to stop attacks. The intelligence community believes strongly that the information we got from the detainee questioning program yielded information that made America safer, that we stopped attacks.
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