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Madam Jane predicts: The Bush-Cheney-McCain axis of neo-cons will attack Iran on....

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Message Jane Stillwater
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(to see photos of a painting by renowned artist Polly Frizzel that I truly wish was a portrait of Madam Jane drinking her morning coffee, but is not, and of Madam Jane in her nightgown and bunny slippers, go to my blog.)


I just got an e-mail from my friend Karen. "Lately, I've been really worried that Bush is going to attack Iran and then use this as an excuse to suspend the November 2008 presidential elections. Could you please ask Madam Jane if she thinks that Bush is planning to bomb Iran before November?"

Gee, I'm not really sure if I should. I hate to bother Madam Jane all that much. She's kind of prickly even in the best of times but lately she's been even more temperamental.

"Why is that?"

"Because, way back in 1979, Madam Jane learned all her fabulous fortune-telling techniques from some ancient Tibetan lama from Oakland -- so all these recent protests and suppressions in Lhasa are stirring up a whole bunch of emotions for her. Did you know that the Chinese press just called the Dalai Lama a TERRORIST?" Geez Louise. The next thing you know they'll be calling Jesus a terrorist. Or Mohammed. Or Buddha. Or St. Catherine of Sienna. Or the Easter bunny.... But I digress.

There has been a lot of buzz on the internet lately about possible future attacks on Iran. And I too have been very worried that Bush's axis of imperialism is gonna end up doing something stupid like attacking Iran and putting the entire world in danger -- from economic and radioactive fallout at the least, if not from all-out world war.

Yesterday I read an article in OpEd News that said, "Last Friday, Dick Cheney was in Saudi Arabia for high-level meetings with the Saudi king and his ministers. On Saturday, it was revealed that the [top inner circle of Saudi decision-makers] is preparing 'national plans to deal with any sudden nuclear and radioactive hazards that may affect the kingdom following experts' warnings of possible attacks on Iran's Bushehr nuclear reactors.'" And the article goes on to cite that the last time Cheney made a grand tour of Middle East countries was right before he let loose with Shock and Awe.

And then RIA Novisti, a Russian information agency, also just wrote that "Russian military intelligence services are reporting a flurry of activity by U.S. Armed Forces near Iran's borders, a high-ranking security source said Tuesday. 'The latest military intelligence data point to heightened U.S. military preparations for both an air and ground operation against Iran,' the official said, adding that the Pentagon has probably not yet made a final decision as to when an attack will be launched."

This kind of intel makes it sound like the Bush-Cheney-McCain axis of globalization is planning to attack Iran at any moment, maybe even as early as April or May. Yikes! Maybe I SHOULD try to find out what MJ has to say about this.

So. Very gently, after she'd had her morning coffee, I approached Madam Jane. "Does the Bush-Cheney-McCain axis of [fill in the blank] plan to attack Iran before November?" I asked.


Okay. That's a good thing. Whew. That means that the November elections are gonna be safe -- not to mention the economy, the military, democracy, the Free World and apple pie. But maybe I had worded my question wrong. You gotta be very specific with Madam Jane. I'd better make sure.

"But might Bush and them be planning to attack Iran DURING November, right before the presidential elections?"

"No." Whew. Now we can relax!

Or not.

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Stillwater is a freelance writer who hates injustice and corruption in any form but especially injustice and corruption paid for by American taxpayers. She has recently published a book entitled, "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips For Touring (more...)
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