Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 11 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds   

Madame Jane Predicts: How to survive the coming economic meltdown....

By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)   2 comments
Message Jane Stillwater
Become a Fan
  (1 fan)
Just exactly what do you expect me to say here? That Madame Jane can channel John Maynard Keynes? That the ghost of Adam Smith hovers over my house waiting to come down the chimney like Santa Claus? That Henry George and his "Law of Rent" is gonna rise up from the grave and give me advice that will save our sorry bottoms from the inevitable at this late date just because we wised up and voted Democratic in November and stopped watching Fox News? Well, guess what? Sometimes even Madame Jane's all-knowing crystal ball can't put humpty-dumpty back together again. Sorry about that.

Every single economic expert in the world who can count to ten without the help of his or her fingers and toes is now going around chanting predictions that GWB's one-dimensional fiscal policy of draining America's economy into his private Swiss bank account is bound to create the Big Daddy of all Great Depressions. You don't have to be a stargazer to come up with that one. Just read the Wall Street Journal.

Of course you can't stop the inevitable. But you can surely attempt to perform damage control.

Recently, Madame Jane has employed literally HORDES of tarot readers, psychics, palm readers and astrologers (and the Wall Street Journal) to work night and day on just one simple question, but so far no one on my future-predicting damage-control team has come up with an answer. What is the question? "How do I protect myself and my family against the coming hard times?"

"Should I buy gold?" I asked my clairvoyant-in-chief. "Will my pension plan be safe?" I asked my palm reader. "Should I buy property?" I asked the Wall Street Journal, "or condos on the moon...." Or rob a bank or marry someone with Halliburton stock or what?????

No one knows. The wellsprings of fortune-telling on this subject have all dried up. Sorry about that.

Economic disaster is roaring down upon America like a freight train out of control and you and me and the American middle class are now tied to the freaking railroad tracks! So. What should we do? I have an idea. Madame Jane predicts that it's time to do some RESEARCH. If you know anyone who was born before 1905, chase them down, corner them in the old folks home and grill them! "When the Great Depression hit back in 1929, how did you protect yourself? What did you do?" Or, better yet, ask them, "What was the one thing that you wish to God you had done back in 1928?" See what they say. Send me the answers. Please! And please send them soon.

Madame Jane predicts that one of the things that most of them will say is, "I surely do wish that we had impeached Herbert Hoover BEFORE things got out of hand."
Rate It | View Ratings

Jane Stillwater Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Stillwater is a freelance writer who hates injustice and corruption in any form but especially injustice and corruption paid for by American taxpayers. She has recently published a book entitled, "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips For Touring (more...)
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

200 Concubines: In India, it's hard not to think about sex!

My trip to North Korea: Pictures worth a thousand words?

Exponential happiness: McCain, Obama, Chekhov & my 93-year-old aunt

Our dual-citizenship Congress: Lotsa pork for Israelis, no pork for California?

Lucas Mangope: One of South Africa's living legends

Google Earth: Gaza has now gone dark too....

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend