So now -- without further "delay" -- is an apparently accurate look inside the wickedly twisted mind of one of our favorite indicted GOP co-conspirators, The Honorable (puhleeze) Tom DeLay:
"So many minority youths had volunteered, that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself." -- Tom DeLay, explaining at the 1988 GOP convention why he and vice presidential nominee Dan Quayle did not fight in the Vietnam War (Source: Houston Press, as cited in Slate)
"Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" -- Tom Delay, to three young hurricane victims from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 9, 2005 (Source: Houston Chronicle Domeblog)
"We're no longer a superpower. We're a super-duper power." -- Tom DeLay, explaining why America must topple Saddam Hussein in 2002 interview with Fox News (Source: AlterNet)
"Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes." -- Tom DeLay, March 12, 2003 (Source: The New Yorker)
"A woman can take care of the family. It takes a man to provide structure. To provide stability. Not that a woman can't provide stability, I'm not saying that. ... It does take a father, though." -- Tom DeLay, in an interview on the radio program "Roll Call," Feb. 10, 2004 (Source: Planned Parenthood)
"I don't believe there is a separation of church and state. I think the Constitution is very clear. The only separation is that there will not be a government church." -- Tom DeLay (date unspecified) (Source: ExterminateTomDelay.com)
"Emotional appeals about working families trying to get by on $4.25 an hour [the minimum wage in 1996] are hard to resist. Fortunately, such families do not exist." -- Tom DeLay, during a debate in Congress on increasing the minimum wage, April 23, 1996 (Source: TomPaine.com)
"I am not a federal employee. I am a constitutional officer. My job is the Constitution of the United States, I am not a government employee. I am in the Constitution." -- Tom DeLay, in a CNN interview, Dec. 19, 1995 (Source: Wikipedia)
And this ethically and intellectually indigestible digest of Tom DeLayisms is usually capped by a punchline that goes something like this: "So you see, my friends, there is a reason Tom DeLay is one of the most popular men in Washington. He makes the president look slightly less stupid by comparison!" Buh-dum-bum.
(To review some not-so-humorous escapades of one of the formerly most powerful people in America, you might want to read my articles "No DeLay" and "Tom DeLay, Russian Patsy?" in GordonTalk.com)