Ok, this is Jesus, we gotta talk!
"ONITSHA, Nigeria (Reuters) - Christian youths burned the corpses of Muslims on Thursday on the streets of Onitsha in southeastern Nigeria, the city worst hit by religious riots that have killed at least 146 people across the country in five days.
Christian mobs, seeking revenge for the killings of Christians in the north, attacked Muslims with machetes, set fire to them, destroyed their houses and torched mosques in two days of violence in Onitsha, where 93 people died.
"We are very happy that this thing is happening so that the north will learn their lesson," said Anthony Umai, a motorcycle taxi rider, standing close to where Christian youths had piled up the corpses of 10 Muslims and were burning them."
Guys! Guys! This Christian soldier thing has to stop before everyone gets killed in Jesus name amen! There is no such thing as a Christian Soldier. It's a bad song and it should never have been written. I don't want Christians marching onward anymore. They are giving me a very bad name and creeping everyone on the planet out! Please, you gotta stop "Marching as to war", and no where, even in that hymn does any Christian get to pile up the dead and burn them! It's just an analogy.
Please, put down the "with the cross of Jesus" and let's rethink some of the great stuff I wrote that somewhat goes against what you seem to be up to. Put the Cross down and let's march ahead with say...oh, food! Yes, let's bring people food! Or how about "with the hugs of Jesus, going on before?" That works great. Let's change the words.
"Onward all us nice guys, walking not like thugs With some food from Jesus, and a bunch of hugs. Jesus, he just loves you, wants you to be free. Forward with the fooooooood, here's a hug for thee.
Onward Christian nice guys, making not a fuss With some food from Jesus and some hugs from us.
Onward then you nice guys, boy we like you too Here, how can we help you, do what you can do? We are here to love you, help you all we can. Let's just build some pla-ay ground, someone bring some sand.
Onward Christian nice guys, here's some food for you Gosh we're just so haaaappy, thanks for all you do."
Something like that. Anything but what you're singin!
Hey remember when I said, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy?" Can we just wallow in that one for a bit before you go out again tonight?
Please, I'm not the royal Master marching against my foes. I don't do foes anymore! Put the damn cross thing down now! Wow, am I having a bad day up here reading about you guys! My Father is just looking at me like "do something," but you guys have to do it on your own or you won't learn anything from me. They are not the foe! No one is the foe! Foe St. Pete sake, stop!!!
Please, do not "like a mighty army, moves the Church of God anymore either. You're giving us all a really bad name. Atheist's and agnostics are having a field day with this stuff. It's ok if you don't "tread where the saints of trod." They did way too much treading where I never wanted them to tread and way too many people got squished when I never intended that!
Oh and please stop with the "we are not divided, all one body weeeeeeeeeeee" stuff. You haven't agreed on one thing since the day started singing that song. You're killing me along with anyone that evidently that gets in your Christian way. You're all divided an you know it. Satan hightailed it up here real fast and has been laughing his ass off at me all day over this stuff. You're not "one in hope and doctrine" and for God's sake, sorry Dad, you're certainly not "one in chariteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." I wish you were. You're not a happy throng. You're a crazy one! I don't want anyone to blend their voices with yours in any triumph song. We're not trying to win anything here. I don't need you to win for me. I'm not playing!
So please guys, let's stop marching as to war and like a mighty armying! They are just people...PEOPLE. They have families, they want to feel safe, they need a place to live and a job to keep them going. You're all the same! Jeeeeeeeez, don't worry I can take my own name in vain if I want to, this is really bad stuff!
Rodney! Where is Rodney King? Rodney you tell 'em. "Can't we all just get along? Excellent Rodney! That's the whole point of what I was getting at! Gabriel, put what Rodney just said into the next Sermon on the Mount update. And be sure to give him full credit!
Oh I'm so upset. Satan, bring me a beer, I gotta catch my breath. Cancel my calls for the day. Gosh, save me from my own followers.
In Me Jesus