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That's Soy Gay!

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Message Dana Scully

The other day my pal Gordon sent me the text of an item he found on the Right Wing Watch of the "The People for the American Way" website about how soy is turning people gay.

So I read it, and the more I read, the madder I got. I thought a response was in order. Gordon showed my response to some other people and they encouraged me to publish it here. In the response below, I quote the original article , collected off the Christian conservative website WorldNet Daily in this blue text style. My apologies for their low editorial standards.

My response is in this black text style.

There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular.

The first sentence tells us right away this is propaganda. Poisoning or kids and threatening our culture? Have you ever read a sentence that screamed far-right fear mongering more than this one? And you know what "the ironic part is"? I'm going to blame it all on granola-crunching, pantywaist, GOD-HATING, big government, culture-destroying, feminist, communist, IMMORAL, union labor, immigrant, colored, hippie, drug addict, SEX FIEND, criminal-coddling, liberal, GAY, democrats, instead of my friends at the giant corporate food conglomerates.

Now, I'm a health-food guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his kitchen unless it's organic. I state my bias here just so you'll know I'm not anti-health food.

Here, let me first disarm you by claiming my lack of bias. This is a NO SPIN ZONE, people. I love organic healthy foods. Who doesn't? Since I don't have a bias against health-food, you can bet that what follows is a bias-free, reasoned argument.

All it really says is, I have a much bigger axe to grind. Because hidden underneath the obvious gay bashing in what follows is his real attack. The target? The use of baby formula instead of breast feeding. This is an insidious anti-feminist tactic. The reasoning goes that social, political and economic equality for women is the base cause for the "collapse of our culture." Since breast feeding mothers are rarely able to re-join the workforce, a great way to keep women at home and under control (i.e. politically, socially and economically powerless) is to make it immoral and dangerous to feed formula.

The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore.

I'll start with a wholly unsupported statement that soy is feminizing. Note that I will never attempt to provide any support for this statement for the rest of my piece, but because I'm going to repeat it over and over as "a fact," by the end you aren't even going to remember that I haven't bothered to support this assertion.

Feminizing is bad, because being female is strongly linked to being a feminist. Feminism is bad because it threatens our manhood and encourages women to destroy our culture by participating in the economy and politics. Men are always targets, you know, particularly white Christian men. Now you need to ignore the fact that they make up 25% of the population but hold 90% of the political and social power and 1/2 of 1% of them control 95% of the economy. We hate them because they believe in freedom.

If soy is pervasive, it is mostly because the giant corporate food processors add it to the convenience foods Americans love.

I have nothing against an occasional soy snack. Soy is nutritious and contains lots of good things.

Just ask our friends at the huge food conglomerates like Conagra and ADM.

Unfortunately, when you eat or drink a lot of soy stuff, you're also getting substantial quantities of estrogens. Estrogens are female hormones. If you're a woman, you're flooding your system with a substance it can't handle in surplus. If you're a man, you're suppressing your masculinity and stimulating your "female side," physically and mentally.

Female side? This guy has spent too much time reading about male to female transgender issues. Speaking of transgenders, I know they will be pleased to hear that all they need to do is switch to Silk in their morning coffee and they will never need another hormone pill.

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The truth is out there. Th opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation. I'm a journalist, soda jerk, assembly line worker, pilot, programmer, writer, simpleton, designer, economist, change maker, sailor, construction worker, actress, ticket (more...)
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