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George Bush and The Cat in The Hat

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Once upon a time
The Cat in the Hat
George Bush and I
Had a big spat.

One summer day,
Just after three
My mother said,
“I’m going for tea.”

She went out the door
And in two seconds flat
Out of the closet
Came the Cat in the Hat.

“It’s time to have fun,”
Said the Cat in the Hat
“Let’s watch TV,
Nothing’s better than that.”

He went to our den
And without saying please
Turned on the FOX news
Which quivered my knees.

“I always watch this,”
Said the Cat with a grin.
“They take all the news
And then give it a spin.”

Bill O’Reilly was on
And he made me cry
“Stop sniveling,” said Cat,
“Want a poke in the eye?”

I cowered in fear
And covered my tush
When onto FOX news
Came our President Bush.

“I love him,” said Cat
“He’s simply the best
He’s stalwart and brave
He passes each test.”

I shouldn’t have argued
I’m only a kid
But I had to point out
The bad things Bush did.

“What about Iraq?
He lied and deceived
Distorted the facts
Fudged what we believed.”

“Tut tut,” said the Cat
“Surely you jest
We must sacrifice
Be put to the test.”

Then Bush gave a speech
The crowd began cheering
He said that the war’s
End was now nearing.

“The going is tough
And we’ll surely win
I just can’t say how
Nor do I know when.”

“Hmm,” said the Cat,
“Iraq seems a mess.
But Dubya’s my hero
He’ll be a success.”

Before I could think
The words tumbled out,
“You imbecile Cat
You’re never in doubt.

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Bob Burnett is a Berkeley writer. In a previous life he was one of the executive founders of Cisco Systems.
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