I want my daughters to have FBI files. I want them filmed by hostile government agents during a mass protest against injustice. If they get lucky they 'll be tear-gassed; not so much to do damage, just enough to make a good story. Like I was tear gassed as a child. Just like my mother wanted it.
But my mother wanted protest on our permanent records. She insisted that she and her children be counted among those whom bullying law enforcement did not scare.
I am overwhelmingly proud of my childhood dissent. I wear the suspicion of the FBI as a badge of honor. I long to be included on Bill O 'Riley 's enemies list.
When my daughters are little old ladies and their grandchildren ask "Where were you guys when the rebels saved us from Bush? " I want them to brag, "We were in Chicago, Washington, San Francisco, we 're not lying. Check our FBI files! "
I had despaired that my children would have no great monsters to slay, no forge for their mettle. But there ain 't a greater call to American action than a warning from the FBI to shut up. Conscience makes rebels of us all.
I haven 't been to an anti-war march in a few months but I 'll be at the next one I hear about, with my daughters. If the FBI is there filming we 'll all smile and wave for their cameras. But to save the bureau time and effort: my name is Aaron Freeman, two "a 's, two "e 's ". Please print it out in seventy-two-point font. Than king George might read it without his spectacles.
Aaron Freeman is the funniest black Jewish commentator on National Public Radio. Aaron performs stand up comedy at synagogues and colleges around the country. Aaron's current projects include a documentary about black Germans during the Holocaust and a new book, "Baby Boomers - From Acid Rock to Acid Reflux." to be published in December by Publications International. He can be reached at Aaron@aaronfreeman.com.