Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 4 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds   

2008 Republican Convention in Minnesota

By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)   No comments
Here's a sneak peek at the first draft agenda for the 2008 Republican Convention in Minnesota:

6:00 p.m. - Opening Constitution Burning Ceremony.
6:05 p.m. - Opening Prayers by the Rev. Jerry Falwell and Paris Hilton.
6:10 p.m. - Religious Right Panel Discussion Led by the Rev. Jim Baker (Topic: "Do Ministers Do More Than Lay People?").
6:30 p.m. - Anti-Peace Concert by Nancy Sinatra and her Hell's Angels Posse.
6:40 p.m. - Dick Cheney Proposes a Toast to Tom DeLay and Jack Abramoff.
7:00 p.m. - Tribute Theme to the Largest George W. Bush Campaign Contributor - the Late, Great Kenneth Lay of Enron.
7:10 p.m. - Collect Offerings from the American Taxpayer for Exxon/Mobil and Halliburton.
7:25 p.m. - Tribute Theme to Nuclear Pakistan (New Home of Osama bin Laden).
7:45 p.m. - Anti-Peace Rally (Moderated by "You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have..." Donald Rumsfeld).
8:25 p.m. - Dick Cheney Proposes a Toast.
8:30 p.m. - Torture Workshop.
9:00 p.m. - Gay Marriage Bashing Ceremony (during which Dick Cheney's daughter Mary will be conspicuously absent).
9:30.p.m. - * Intermission *
10:00.p.m. - Posting of the Iraqi Colors and the Presentation of a Plastic Photo-Op Turkey to Our Troops.
10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Bush Flying F-102's Under the Influence Prior to Going AWOL from the National Guard.
10:20.p.m. - Cameo by George yelling "Bring it on!" and "Mission Accomplished!''
10:30 p.m. - Stem Cell Research Demonstration by Everyone's Favorite Prescription-Drug Addict Rush Limbaugh
10:40 p.m. - Dick Cheney Proposes a Toast.
10:50 p.m. - Pledge of Allegiance to King George and Corporate American CEOs.
11:00 p.m. - Illegal Wiretapping Workshop.
11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Corporate Wealth Workshop.
11:30 p.m. - 'Free Saddam's Oil' Pep Rally.
11:59 p.m. - Dick Cheney Proposes a Toast.
12:00 p.m. - Nomination of Republican Candidate.

(Any chance we could get Dick Cheney to go quail hunting with George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld after the convention?)
Rate It | View Ratings

Cheryl Dykstra Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Former Systems Manager of Technical Services for M.O.N.Y. Financial Services (NY), Director of Information Services & Central Security for Citibank's U.S. Card Products Group (NYC), and Project Manager of Software Engineering for LHS (more...)

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

2008 Republican Convention in Minnesota

Follow the Leader

I'd Be Crying Too

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend