- Advertisement -
6:00 p.m. - Opening Constitution Burning Ceremony.
6:05 p.m. - Opening Prayers by the Rev. Jerry Falwell and Paris Hilton.
6:10 p.m. - Religious Right Panel Discussion Led by the Rev. Jim Baker (Topic: "Do Ministers Do More Than Lay People?").
6:30 p.m. - Anti-Peace Concert by Nancy Sinatra and her Hell's Angels Posse.
6:40 p.m. - Dick Cheney Proposes a Toast to Tom DeLay and Jack Abramoff.
7:00 p.m. - Tribute Theme to the Largest George W. Bush Campaign Contributor - the Late, Great Kenneth Lay of Enron.
7:10 p.m. - Collect Offerings from the American Taxpayer for Exxon/Mobil and Halliburton.
7:25 p.m. - Tribute Theme to Nuclear Pakistan (New Home of Osama bin Laden).
7:45 p.m. - Anti-Peace Rally (Moderated by "You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have..." Donald Rumsfeld).
8:25 p.m. - Dick Cheney Proposes a Toast.
8:30 p.m. - Torture Workshop.
9:00 p.m. - Gay Marriage Bashing Ceremony (during which Dick Cheney's daughter Mary will be conspicuously absent).
9:30.p.m. - * Intermission *
10:00.p.m. - Posting of the Iraqi Colors and the Presentation of a Plastic Photo-Op Turkey to Our Troops.
10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Bush Flying F-102's Under the Influence Prior to Going AWOL from the National Guard.
10:20.p.m. - Cameo by George yelling "Bring it on!" and "Mission Accomplished!''
10:30 p.m. - Stem Cell Research Demonstration by Everyone's Favorite Prescription-Drug Addict Rush Limbaugh
10:40 p.m. - Dick Cheney Proposes a Toast.
10:50 p.m. - Pledge of Allegiance to King George and Corporate American CEOs.
11:00 p.m. - Illegal Wiretapping Workshop.
11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Corporate Wealth Workshop.
11:30 p.m. - 'Free Saddam's Oil' Pep Rally.
11:59 p.m. - Dick Cheney Proposes a Toast.
12:00 p.m. - Nomination of Republican Candidate.
(Any chance we could get Dick Cheney to go quail hunting with George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld after the convention?)
Comments
Click Here to View Comments or Join the Conversation