My dog is threatening to write a tell all book about me
He has already been given an advance by Rancid House.
It is not enough that he has been extorting milk bone,
Marrow bones and gouda cheese
Now he is demanding a poodle escort service on weekends.
I cannot keep succumbing to his demands.
He refuses to relieve himself outside anymore,
Instead he defecates in my earphones and boots.
It is useless to reason with him. He is dogmatic, derisive,
Denigrating, degenerate and defensive.
I am presently giving ample consideration to hiring
A pit bull from Chicago to put the cabash on his ass
Once and for all.