"Oh no, not another new flavor!" I cried. I'm really panicking here. That stuff is SO good! I can't resist. I'm humanly incapable of resistance. Last night I sat on the couch all by myself, watched Desperate Housewives and ate a whole pint before even the second commercial break.
Because young Ashley gave me a free sample of the new lemon curd flavor that tastes like lemon meringue pie, the least I can do is give Ciao Bella a plug on my blog. And maybe the company will be so completely overwhelmed with gratitude that they will give me a month's free supply. "Jane, that's shameless capitalism!" But why not? I'm already plugging my eBay sword sale thingie at
and my book at
But why the heck shouldn't I? Somewhere I read that Americans are exposed to 19,000 commercial messages a day. Nineteen thousand a day! Americans are so bombarded with messages to buy stuff that it's amazing they have any time left to think about anything else. So two or three more commercial plugs from me are surely not going to hurt. Humph. So get over it. Go out there and BUY. And preferably from me. At least we all know that my stuff is enlightening, spiritual, essential and cool.
EVERYTHING in America centers around commercials. Everything. From our presidential races to our sex lives to even the names that we pick for our kids. What phase of your life ISN'T ruled by commercials -- from birth to death, womb to tomb. So if you gotta get brainwashed to buy stuff, the least you can do is get the freak out there and buy something meaningful. From me. But I digress.
This gelato is really good stuff. "And it's made from milk instead of cream, all natural ingredients and no artificial colors or flavors and not that much sugar," young Ashley assured me. "Mom, it's healthy." Yeah right. But check out some of the flavors. "Bourbon butter pecan, amaretto, chocolate jalapeno," listed Ashley. "Mojito sorbet, maple ginger snap, lemon curd, triple espresso, Scharffenberger chocolate, bourbon vanilla, red bean, green tea, peaches and cream, mango sorbet, lychee....and zabaione -- which tastes like egg nog and you can pour brandy over it and imagine it's New Years Eve all year long."
Good grief, Ashley! I'm being corrupted. I'm turning into some kind of gelato gourmet. Ashley, this is your MOTHER speaking. Can't you just get a job in a shop selling wheatgrass juice or something? "Mom, you're weird."
PS: Then Ashley went on to describe how she got invited to a beer pong tournament last night. "Beer pong?"
"It's just like ping-pong except you play it with beer." She promised to make a video of it and post it on YouTube so I could grasp the concept more easily.
"Can't we just play gelato-pong instead?"
PPS: I just got the following e-mail from CNN! I've been accepted! "You have been added to the list of credentialed media for the January 21 debate." I'm going to South Carolina to cover the Myrtle Beach Black Caucus Democratic presidential debate for OpEd News!