But then for my Mothers Day present this year, my wonderful son Joe put together a video he had taken during a three-day cruise we went on a few years ago. And then Joe put it on YouTube for me. Wow! Thank you, Joe!!!!!
Here's the plot of the video: We got this special deal on some cruise from Los Angeles to Ensenada and decided to use the boat as a backdrop to reenact scenes from a play I had written. Here's the first segment -- auditions! Enjoy. http://youtube.com/watch?v=gI_FCHj7DdI
The next segment? Here's me, my son Joe, my youngest daughter and my friend Jim eating shrimp on the dock of San Pedro harbor and trying to ambush my poor unsuspecting friend into starring in my play: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Y1wMEy65urc&mode=related&search=.
Then there's the bad part of Mothers Day -- the part when you instinctively KNOW that your kids are just putting up with you because they have to. That sucks eggs. And after all the things that I've done for them too! Here's the segment of my video wherein I spend an inordinate amount of time BEGGING and PLEADING with these ungrateful whelps to star in my play! http://youtube.com/watch?v=p4R20uXFV4k
Then there's the ugly part of Mothers Day -- resentment. "The more you mother, the more you resent," goes the ancient Chinese proverb. And they're right. I gave up the best freaking years of my life for those kids! Cooking the dinners, attending the PTA meetings, sitting through the recitals, helping with the homework, putting my life on HOLD for 30 years. Humph!
But, as I watch these videos and reflect, I remember the good times as well as the bad. And I think of how my life has changed so much since my kids all moved out -- how I'm getting so much more done, I have a life of my own, I'm a different and better person.... And then, sadly, I realize that, while I do love my children, I don't miss being a mom at all.
But despite this new realization, still I'm looking forward to having my son taking me out for dinner on Mothers Day just the same. Sure, I'm resentful. But I'm not stupid! Never pass up good company. And never pass up free food.
PS: Do I regret having children? If I had it to do all over again, would I still have done it? I truly don't know. Every one of my four children deserves to have been born and a world without these four wonderful people in it would be a poorer place by far. And if I met any one of them on the street these days, I'm sure I would be totally impressed with them and want to be their friend. But as for being their MOTHER?
Have all those hardship years of attempting to raise my kids in poverty, sacrificing my own interests to try to find a better life for them and being a single mother caused too much water to flow under the bridge for us to ever be close again? The answer to that one would be, "Definitely yes." Except of course for the affable Joe. Who will be taking me out to dinner on Mothers Day. I hope!