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That's how to be Anamerican

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Message Paul Titterton
Anyone criticises an American today deals with me I don't care if he is twice my size. Its July the 4th,, but that's not why I am saying this... I saw 'Goodnight and Good luck 'last night.

I know everyone else saw it months ago but I have been busy. I have been preaching that the Americans have a fabulous legacy that they are blowing because of blind fear and obedience and then someone comes along and shows me how to say it properly.

I had always wondered what I would have said to the committee. I think I would have said 'I was never a member of the American Communist Party.'

I know McCarthy's question never included the word "American". But I have often imagined what a good answer would have been to the question, "Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?", and I like, "I have never been a member of the American Communist Party.", accentuating the word "American".

In my mind's version of the stand off, there would be spluttering and confusion. Sweaty Joe would have then had to ask if there was another Communist Party of which you were, in fact, a member. The reply could then have been, "I don't know anything about any other Communist obviously do..a little strange eh? Mr Pinko!"

Joseph McCarthy was censured and unsadly forgotten, having hurt some sensitive, good people. However, he did give us Robin Hood. Yes, the writer of the hit TV series in Britain, Robert Lees, was a lefty refugee and America's loss was our gain. I wonder how it would have been scripted if it were written by a right winger instead?

Sheriff of Nottingham : Robin ,come hither, a task for thee. Will Scarlet is in Sherwood & Company's forest again.

Robin: Not a problem, my liege, hereth the plan. Slay Scarlet.

Sheriff :Thou hast hated him long is his name I warrant thee.

Robin:And manner sire.. Merrie Men....its the devil's love... Also his heart doth bleed, for he calleth for a tax on mead to aid ye poor and an end to quivers...knave..ecthetra..

Whilst I was a lefty, I was never a Communist Party member. By the time I was old enough to shout loudly they were passe'. It was the Trotskyists that had the thinkers and shakers when I was impressionable. The CP supported Russian troops in Prague. I didn't think it was such a good move.

I saw the Czech guy put the flower in the rifle barrel and watched the young Russian soldier struggle. He was huge and totally confused. He had been trained to fight the filthy, capitalist, Yankee imperialists, not some comical, hairy, Czech dude. The first Czech joke I ever heard....

Hey comrade, why do you complain about the Russians? It is a brilliant produces 11 harvests a year. Look Ivan, I know you are proud to be Russian, but even you must see that is a huge exaggeration. Not really. One from Czechoslovakia, one from East Germany, Poland etc., etc.

East Germany.. that was strange country. They won more gold medals in the Olympics than the Americans one time ..1980 I think. We now know it was due to an intake of drugs that left its people wrecks. Boys will be girls and girls will be boys..

And what about their car.. the Trabant? The Trabby, after the wall came down, was often to be seen abandoned, perched impossibly up an Alp being nibbled by a goat. A pal, a connoisseur, said you smelled them miles before you saw them, but the freedom they offered the newly Capitalised owners meant that they travelled far and wide, briefly.

The second Czech joke. A Prague tram has 4 people in it. An old lady, a pretty girl, a handsome boy and a Russian Soldier. It passes through a dark tunnel. A kiss and a punch are heard. The Russian soldier has a blackening eye.

The old lady thinks "What a brave girl defending her honour", the girl thinks "Why did the soldier kiss the old lady and not me?" The Russian soldier thinks "You clever boy, you got a kiss and I get the punch from the girl". The boy thinks "You clever boy, you kiss your hand and get to punch a Russian soldier!"

A Polish joke... the Polish Prime Minister in Feb 06 said that his troops in Iraq were getting good experience!!!

Murrow would have fought this war with integrity, with passion...and without doubt. He would have ignored focus groups, smears and threats.

Ed Murrow RIP.
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'Hamish ' is an antiwar writer socialist- scientist and musician living in Scotland.
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