I was online reading an article about the Federal Reserve taking proactive measures to insure stability in the Credit markets. I was thinking to myself that something just wasn't adding up fair and square when all of a sudden, I mean just like that, in the blink of an eye even, I heard this sucking sound over my head. I then rose in an instant to an incredible height. Before I could catch my next breath, I was standing at a huge golden door and on the door was a giant name plate. I had to back up some to take it all in and then I read the name on the door. The ARCH ANGEL BERNANK, the high angel in the Kingdom of Heaven in charge of Earthly prosperity. Just then the door opened slightly and a voice invited me in.
"Come in Hoss," said the Arch Angel himself. "I notice you're having doubts about monetary issues on earth."
"No, not really," I replied, not wanting to incur the immediate wrath of this Angel. At least not before I had a chance to look around some. "Though I suppose I'm a little curious about that giant sucking typhoonery that hauled me up here," I casually offer.
The Angel BERNANK looked surprised and then patiently explained, "There is no giant sucking anything up here. All we have up here are the gentle down draft breezes of trickle down economics. If you'll look out my window on the world below here, you will see the precious winged dollars making their way to the lives of those who are in my charge. It's up to me to see that all of my people are well heeled and prosperous. And no one is ever left out of my benevolence."
He smiles and replies, "No it's not raining money and money is certainly not ever free. In fact, I have to create money by using my power of Heavenly decree. And I assure you, there's absolutely nothing free about it. So tell me Hoss, what was bothering you about the latest news of my Federal reserve stabilizing the credit markets?"
"I'm not sure," I said, being somewhat truthful. Since no one I know seems to know what's really going on in these upper echelon money finaglings. Still I go on, "But it seems to me that rewarding these lenders who manipulated all those dubious sub prime mortgage loans is not justice somehow. And it does seem that you're rewarding them since all this Heavenly money first makes these so called securities dealers rich and then just ends up deposited back in the commercial banks. Plus, and this is important to my concerns, why do I doubt that any of this Heavenly money will actually help someone struggling to make their payments on a Mortgage they owe?"
"So Angel BERNANK, why is it that some of these Mortgages actually seem designed to default? The Mortgage holder defaults and the Lender keeps all previous proceeds from the Borrower and plus gets to foreclose on the house. And after all that the Lender now gets a huge Heavenly Cash Dispensation from you, The ARCH ANGEL BERNANK. A dispensation to help the lenders cope with this crisis? Call me a selfish Populist, but it seems to me the only ones suffering here are the ones being forced out of their houses and into bankruptcy."
"You just don't get the big picture my son," the Angel BERNANK pontificates. "Hoss, these defaulters are learning important lessons about the Money Kingdom of Heaven and it's Angels. The most important lesson is to never be greedy and always read the fine print. If it seems to good to be true, it probably is. And Hoss, It's a fact of life that all will be tested and will need to pass their earthly tests to become like us, Arch Angels and Angel Helper Lenders in God's Heavenly Money Kingdom. To think that High Finance is rigged by a controlling self serving clique is just plain cynical, a big conspiracy theory. We're just simple Deities wanting what's best for humanity."
"I see," I reply, just lost for words really. "So how do I get back down to my home on the planet earth? Surely you can't honestly expect me to simply coast down on that Trickle Down Economics breeze with all those Winged Dollars? Besides, who knows what commoner's pocket I might land in?" Somehow I think my sarcasm escaped the Arch Angel BERNANK.
The Arc Angel BERNANK laughs and says, "Sure Hoss, I'll send you back just the way you came. Come back and see me sometime Hoss. Let me know how it's going."
The ANGEL BERNANK's send off seemed sincere though I'm quite sure he will always be able to guess how I'm doing.