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Sure and Gomorrah

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Message Terry Ballard
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The debate over indecency in broadcasting is proof that our country is showing clear signs of collective insanity. First, let's turn to our right-wing brethren for their point of view. Our children must be protected from things like profane words and nudity. Families who opt not to subscribe to HBO, and have no access to the Internet, may rely on the government to protect their children from seeing these things on "Free" tv or hearing them on the radio. Failure to do this will result in a wave of moral decay.

I was recently in a country where these rules were not observed. Every night after 8, all manner of indecent things showed up on their regular television broadcasts. Characters in dramas spouted the 'F' word. There were naked women without that fuzzing over that protects the sensibilities of our citizens. One of their newspapers had a topless woman featured in each day's issue - right there on the newsstand where inquiring young eyes could check it out. Yes, this place was a regular Sodom and Gomorrah, and our devoutly moral brethren can surely point to the moral decay that permeates this country: Ireland.

We visited Ireland 3 times this century, and for some reason, we couldn't see much outward sign of this moral breakdown. Being a librarian, I went to the reference books to help me out. Let's start with prison population. Here in the United States, where we are protected from unseemly words, the prison population amounts to 700 per 100,000 in the general population. In that Emerald Cesspool across the Atlantic, there are 86 prisoners per 100,000 citizens. Right now, the United States holds about half of the world's entire prison population. Maybe not coincidentally, we also account for nearly half of the world's gunshot deaths. Just imagine how bad things would get if Howard Stern could have his say on regular radio.

Here are some more statistics. In that licentious world of leprechauns, the adult aids rate is .1%, while here in the more moral United States, the rate is 6 times higher. However, we should be patient with Ireland. Give them time, because 20% of their population is 15 years of age or younger. Once those tots get a taste of all those bad words and images, a wave of lawlessness and immorality of every type will sweep the country from the Dingle Peninsula to Tara. In the meantime, if right-thinking Americans don't like the idea of those nudes in the tabloid paper The Sun, they should complain to the newspaper's publisher - Rupert Murdoch.

 

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Terry Ballard was a native of Phoenix, Arizona until he made a wrong turn in 1990 - he has been living on Long Island ever since. His chief regret in life is that he does not have the option to live on some other planet.
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