You Might Be A Right Wing Bible Thumper if...
You have to give Jeff Foxworthy credit: he doesn't mind deprecation, especially self-deprecation. The man who coined the phrase "You might be a redneck, if...." and hosted "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" is getting set for some more deprecatory comments, even from some of his own fans.
Even without knowing much about the exact format of the program, The American Bible Challenge, it doesn't take a fifth grader to sense that the show will produce some very embarrassing, unintended moments.
Part of the show will be centered around the contestant's home lives, as the network explained their personal stories will be shared with the audience. Contestants will form teams and will represent "worthy faith-based organizations," to which all cash won will go, according to GSN. The show pilot is scheduled to shoot later this month.
Foxworthy has promised to "to present the Bible in a fun and entertaining way."That was done by pop historian Kenneth C. Davis in his book "Don't Know Much About The Bible."* It didn't go over well with Fundamentalists.
KJV, NIV or PPP (Pure Pulpit Pimp)?
So which version of the Bible will Foxworthy use for his questions? If he doesn't use the King James Version, he's going to rile some people. Then again, saying all those "thees" "thous" "sayeths" and "begats" will make for more archaic-sounding buffoonery.
JF: "The Old Testament mentions the Witch of Endor. Where is Endor?"
Cindy Jacobs: "Was it shaped like a dragon?"
Pat Robertson: "I don't know, but I think it signed a pact with the devil."
JF: What was the sin of Sodom?
Bryan Fischer: Making the first homosexuals, therefore the first N*zis.
Tony Perkins: Homosexual activists forced Lot's daughters to become lesbians.
JF: How many wives did King Solomon Have?
Robert Jeffress: I don't know, but he was definitely not a member of the Mormon cult.
JF: Did God want the Israelites to slay all the Amelekites?
Ann Coulter: He only wanted them to slay their leaders and convert them to Christianity.
Sean Hannity: He didn't want to slay them at all, only waterboard them.
Other guests might include Chuck Norris, David Barton, Stephen Baldwin, Victoria Jackson, Michele Bachmann, Tim Tebow, Linda Harvey, Kirk Cameron, Rick Perry, Bishop Eddie Long... and anyone Southern Baptist. The possibilities are endless.
*I highly recommend this book for the simple reason that it brings out all the discrepancies. Some of Davis' historical standpoints have been challenged, but the fact remains that Fundamentalists and Evangelicals hate him for calling them out. E.G.: there are TWO creations, the New Testament was not written by Matthew Mark, Luke and John and God couldn't seem to get his Son's birthday right.