Sure, there have been a few bumps in the road. Like Vietnam. Afghanistan. Iraq. Libya. Syria. But doesn't Britney Spears make you darn proud to be an American!
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Hope fuels boundless optimism and lays the groundwork for deep and ruinous cynicism.
I've written quite a bit about hope. How not that long ago it created for a certain political candidate the greatest groundswell of Messianic hysteria in modern history. How it became the oxygen for a nation suffocating from the catastrophic mishandling of the 9/11 attacks, the wanton military aggression, the gagging incompetence of eight years rule by a cabal of war-crazed lunatics.
Hope! I call it Vitamin H.
Actually, I just made that up. Sounds good though.
"Take your vitamins, people! Don't forget your Vitamin H." If you get the recommended daily intake of Vitamin H, you'll get through each day with a smile, find yourself buoyed with a general giddiness, approach every encounter, person and situation with a naive trust that'll keep your blood pressure low and your gullibility off the charts.
Ignorance is bliss! Let's party!
Hope is a ticket to Paradise!
Admittedly . . . so far it hasn't done very much to prevent malaise, ennui, confusion, paranoia, short and long term memory loss, cognitive dissonance, alienation, disconnect, cerebral dyspepsia, disorientation, and hegemony of the lizard brain.
But we can keep on hoping!
Which brings me to the splendid tidings of this particular article. Yes, good people, if you were looking for a real boost, something to skyrocket your sagging expectations into the dreamy upper reaches of the gladosphere, you've come to the right place.
First, to appreciate the magnitude of this announcement, we need to review.
When peaceniks were all mopey about the destruction of Yugoslavia via a massive, illegal bombing campaign, we had this WONDERFUL SONG to turn those frowns upside down!
When young and old, rich and poor, were reeling from the dotcom stock market crash and subsequent meltdown of the economy, the Oxycontin back then was this appropriately titled MUSICAL INTUBATOR.
Granted, seeing the Twin Towers come down and the U.S. turned on its head in an orgy of fear and grief was a bummer. But it was only two weeks later THIS HEAVY BREATHER was released to remind people what was really important in life!
As a delightful soundtrack to the slaughter of thousands of innocent civilians and bombing Baghdad Iraq back to the Stone Age, who couldn't help but feel the awesome "boom boom" of THIS DANCE FLOOR M.O.A.B. Bumping and grinding has never felt so patriotic!
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