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World Domination Lessons From Shampoo

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These days, just about every consumer product contains some combination of ingredients, warnings, and instructions on use. Some such products defy the intelligence of the user, as evidenced by your typical bottle of shampoo. Wash. Rinse. Repeat if necessary. Add conditioner. Rinse. But it could be argued that these instructions properly belong not on shampoo, but in a step by step implementation manual on how to subvert populations.

Wash. As the puppet masters openly cleanse from us our personal rights and freedoms, we submit to this procedure because we are made to feel good. We are distracted from the dirt and grime of their rule under which we dwell, bathed by the soothing lather of the righteous crusades we undertake, by the dazzling bubbles of the blockbuster propaganda for which we clamor, and by playing with the little homogeneous toy ducks we lined up to purchase, on credit of course. Like a cool shower after slaving away in the fields on a drought stricken day, we ache for the precious droplets to stream over our skin to wash away our sins, to purify our deeds, and to perfume the stinking pores of conformity.

Rinse. It is not enough to just wash. Shampoo gets in our eyes. It hurts like hell, awakening us to the perils of this act designed to lull us when most vulnerable. Rinse! Water down any remaining iota of those personal rights and freedoms we claim to hold dear. Feel the relaxing pulse of the massaging shower head as it directs its tiny bursts of puffery on our cranium. Our sigh of abidance is audible.

Repeat if necessary. Not all can be cleansed of their defiance to world domination in one fell swoop. Some need a more thorough wash, as their sweat clings more rank to the flag of their fathers. Like a Limburger cheese, it is a distinctive aroma appreciated by only a few connoisseurs. It is the sweet fragrance of freedom that, in the eyes of those constructing the New World Order, is an offense to the olfactory. Yes, repeat until that odor becomes order.

Add conditioner. Now that we have been disinfected from any notion of enjoying personal rights and freedoms, we must be conditioned into championing compliance. Apply liberally. Subject us to interrogations and invasive body scans at airports, to warrantless search and seizure, and to live tracking of our movements. Collect our personal information for cross-referencing in data banks. Feed us genetically modified foods, prescribe mind altering drugs, and plague us with experimental diseases. Provide police and corporate security entities with excessive powers to limit our expressions, to deny our inquiries, and to detain us without cause or due process.

Rinse. As we have now been conditioned to accept limitations on our personal rights and freedoms, it should come as no surprise that the bar will be lowered again. Drown us in Marshal Law. Let the waves of tyranny flow like the storm sewers from which they rise. Soak those tangled weaves until they droop into submission. Rinse Baby Rinse!

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