Because I'm not a fundamentalist hoping for the end of the world, a raving lunatic unclear on the concept of science, or a certified moron who claims to read every newspaper in the country but reads and knows essentially nothing. In other words, I'm not Sarah Palin. The entire damn planet is in danger, ecosystems are collapsing, the mild warming is getting dangerously close to entering a vicious cycle that nobody will be able to reverse, species are vanishing at an ever faster pace, and the town I live in, no matter how pleasant it may be at the moment, is not an island. If it were, it would be in danger of going under, as real islands are.
So, it comes to this: Are we a nation of complete and utter imbeciles? It's been the better part of a century since H.L. Mencken predicted this danger with these words:
"The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their hearts' desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
At the moment, polls that are conducted in ways that tend to favor McCain and Palin (including polling disproportionate numbers of Republicans, not polling cell phone users, not polling newly registered voters, etc.) are forecasting a decisive victory for Obama and Biden. That gap is likely to expand of its own dumb momentum, as people prefer to vote for the winners. But there are two things that could change it.
The first possibility is that something could happen or be made to happen to SCARE everybody. It could be terrorism or war or economic collapse or martial law or assassinations. Americans are not actually morons when they're not scared. But when they are scared, they make lemmings look like heroes. So, in this moment of clarity prior to the possible BIG SCARY THING that could happen during the next few weeks, I would like to urge all Americans to vote early, vote absentee, and/or swear on whatever we hold dear not to alter our votes because we've been caused to pee in our pants.
Don't be an idiot!