Okay. I know the subject of insane NeoCons is getting old and becoming a redundancy, but is it our faultthat their behavior is increasingly bizarre? Until Congress returns from recess and we finally get some movement on health care reform, the topic of Republican madness is the unavoidable headline. As a group they're about as stable as a bowl of jello on a bicycle.
Glenn Beck's plunge into the rabbit hole continues at rapid speed. You have to wonder if he got his hands on some of that brown acid while on his (forced?) vacation. He sure came back nuttier than before he left, which is really saying something. His public mental collapse is sad and pathetic, but also undeniably entertaining. Showing he still retains a modicum of sanity, Beck seems to knows this, as he explained on his Fox "News" TV show yesterday. He was discussing a White House advisor when, apparently, the tiny gremlins in his head began knocking about with their pointy hammers and he started a wild-eyed raving about being a clown and threats to his family, which explains why he has to live in a mansion. Or something. Here's a sample transcript, with my color commentary:
You know, I -- I'd really like to share with you a personal story from today, but I can't, because it puts my family in danger. Do you think I want to get on the air every night and tell you this stuff? (Uh, yes? Isn't that why you have the Big TV Show and Bigger Salary?) Do you know who I am? (Sadly, yes we do. So does the Secret Service and the staff at Bellevue) The media will say "he's just a clown." Well you know what, I am a clown. (Kinda like John Wayne Gacy) I am a guy who just" I -- I -- I -- I" I just want to have laughs and fun, I'm a capitalist, I want to make money, all that stuff. (And . . . you're not making money? Wanna rent yourself out to kiddie parties? I don't think we're ready to see those balloon animals) I want to live my life with my family. I don't want to have to live with security, and walls, and gates, and everything else. (Is someone forcing you to live in a multi-million-dollar mansion?) Do you think I want to live that way? (uhm, yes?) Maybe there are some people like that. That ain't me. That is not me. I don't want to believe these things, but unfortunately I find them true (now 'scuse me while I go into the bathroom and bang my head into the paper towel dispenser to dislodge the beeping/vibrating electronic probe Obama and Hillary inserted into my midbrain while I napped yesterday).
Speaking of Fox, perhaps Glenn is indeed crazy like one and is pulling a number on all of us, realizing that we are compelled to watch his circus act and therefore will bolster his ratings. I wouldn't put it past Murdoch to pull such a stunt.
Meanwhile, Batty Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Bachman is ready to slit her wrists for freedom. No, seriously. You can't make this stuff up, Truthseekers. She traveled to the mile high city to rally the soldiers in the Army Of The Lord to stop the Antichrist, er, I mean Obama from destroying America with . . .affordable health care? A plan she says has "the strength to destroy this country forever." Health care reform. Destroy America. Slit your wrists. Got'cha.
Maybe it was the altitude, but she seemed especially unhinged yesterday as she urged her minions to take a blood oath to ensure the insurance and pharmaceutical industries are able to continue their rape of the economy and the public:
"This cannot pass. What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn't pass. . .This is slavery, it's nothing more than slavery."
"Something is way crazy out there," Bachmann said in her remarks. Wow, talk about an understatement. I guess the fasting and praying she ordered her frantic fanatics to do last week isn't working, so now she wants them to slit their wrists, too. After all that fasting there might not be much blood, but it only takes a few drops to appease Michelle's dark vision of God. The Almighty, it seems, is demanding a blood sacrifice before He enters the battle of Good versus Evil to stop the antichr -- er, Obama from . . . providing Americans with affordable health care.
Beck and Bachman, the daffy dynamic duo of dementia, better watch out, and better hope their liability insurance policies are well funded. Couple their violent, dangerous rhetoric with their malleable and unstable followers, and you have a recipe for a Jim Jones style mass suicide. Or, at the very least, more murderous attempts to kill the evil "liberals" who want to obliterate America . . . with single-payer health care. Or worse, are thusly inspired to end the President himself, as some other crazy preachers have advised.
When the bloodshed they're demanding actually happens, then it's not so funny anymore, is it?