I was honing my tan on a beach in Caracas,
When the newsman went and announced a fracas.
It seemed Venezuela now posed a grave threat
To my sweet land of liberty, of thee I fret.
"A threat to security" was the phrase the prez used,
Adding a "national" lest Guam feel abused.
Serious stuff this, with jet pilots scrambling,
Bomb shelters opening and pundits a-rambling.
Would schools be shuttered and Pop Tarts sold out?
Would moms call in kids and tanks be rolled out?
A threat to security is mighty strong stuff,
And woe is the fool who thinks Yankees take guff.