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Trump's United Nations Speech: Abridged Edition

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Author 90594
Message Walt Gelles
Polaris Nuclear Missile
Polaris Nuclear Missile
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"I'm Donald Trump and I rule the world
in case you haven't heard,
and anyone who opposes me
is a loser, a wimp, and absurd.

If North Korea does not desist
from its testing of nuclear bombs,
I will bomb it back to the Stone Age
without the slightest qualms.

Thirty million people may die
including the city of Seoul
but I'll build some Trump Hotels over there
to fill the gaping hole.

Plenty of people agree with me
including Nikki Haley
and my staff are aware of how great I am:
They compliment me daily.

That woman sitting in the second row---
I like your stunning dress.
Are you my African? Are you from Mali
or Zanzibar? Let me guess.

America respects the sovereign right
of each nation to suppress its own people
and we hope you keep them down as much
as we stifle our own sheeple.

You could say I learned a thing or two
from watching Tony Soprano.
I'm going to crush the Rocket Man
like Rocky Marciano.

I may not be as strong as Rambo---
My face looks like overcooked mutton---
but you will see how strong I am
when I push the nuclear button.

With my violence and deep-seated rage
I will go down in history
though just why the suckers elected me
is still to me a mystery."


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Walt Gelles is the author of Options: The Alternative Cancer Therapy Book (Avery/Penguin Random House). His articles and political verse have been published at,, OpEdNews, and other websites.

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