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Trump Illegalities: The CIA Guys Didn't Catch Half

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Can someone smart set me up on legalities?
'Cause I wouldn't want to enter frivalities,
When blowing the whistle on crimes high and low,
Multi-misdemeanors and billions in dough
That discreet CIA peeps prefer much to muffle,
In hopes that Ukrainegate gives Don the quick shuffle.
I also punched clock in the royal West Wing,
Brought Don the day's Whopper with fries from B. King,
And like them I saw things I'd never believe
A sitting prez doing to more cash achieve.
I mean, Prez Bill sold chits by the pound at bulk rates,
But 'round him Prez Don traces long figure-eights.
You say you wish that you could sit in Don's chair?
It's yours for an arm a leg and some hair,
It rents by the minute to your Visa card,
And Don throws in secrets Your-Eyes-Only starred,
Or maybe you like that bust of Abe Lincoln,
Say no more, but I hope you're rich-stinkin'.
And not only on some does Don do the dirt,
I heard him say Greta he'd happily flirt!
Not for her virtue nor to make her braids tighter,
But to wheedle the name of her fine speech-writer,
That "How dare you?" line made his Grinchy soul float,
And come the debates, will get tied 'round Dem throat.
Unlike those Company guys, I'm telling all,
Stuff heard in the Oval, the chopper and hall:
MbS shaken down, the Fed turned cash cow,
Macron made a doormat, Merkel a hausfrau.
See Pete and Bernie riding high and mighty?
Don's got their ping-pongs in vices quite tighty.
Yup, find me a whistle 'cause I'm gonna blow,
Get my fifteen minutes and close down this show,
Don's got this jones now, he but answers to God,
Impeachment's for mortals or the poor with no wad.
God spake (at Seventh Hole) he's more chosen than thee,
Divine revelation being to his future key.

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"A Legacy of Chains and Other Stories" is Philip Kraske's lastest book. It can be found at his website:

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