The Liberty Voice Transcript Service
This segment of Steven Colbert’s “The Word” on the Colbert Report (Comedy Channel) aired on September 26, 2006.
Bracketed comments denote text which appeared on-screen as part of Colbert’s monologue.
Now listen folks. We all know about the big dust-up between President Bush and Senate leadership over his wanting to change the language of the Geneva Conventions, right? Well, on Thursday, they reached a compromise. And that’s not just a victory for Bush—it’s a victory for the country. Because basic human rights is something we all need to compromise on.
You see, his opponents are a group of rebels within the Republican party, John McCain, Lindsay Graham and John Warner who stood up and said “NO!” to the President’s plan. Meanwhile, the Democrats also stood up and said, “We’re just gonna wait over here. You tell us when you’re done.”
Which brings us to tonight’s word, “Opposition Party.”
You gotta hand it to McCain, Warner and Graham. They stood up for their principles and came out with a deal that preserves America’s moral standing.
[Standing Naked In A Cold Room]
Here’s the compromise: McCain, Warner and Graham conceded the President’s right to declare anyone anywhere an illegal enemy combatant and detain them indefinitely without a trial.
[Sleep Lightly Helen Thomas]
That eliminates the Writ of Habeas Corpus, which demands you present a reason for imprisoning someone. Let’s face it: Habeas Corpus is pre-9/11 thinking.
[Magna Carta 1215 A.D.]
Now for his part, the President conceded the Senators that he will not change the Geneva Convention’s language on torture, as long as he personally gets to decide what torture is.
[For Him, The White House Press Room]
So, it was an ideal compromise in the name of the greater good — everyone gave up a little something.