I have never been a fan of conspiracy theories. The JFK assassination? No. The 9/11 building collapse? No. The DNC plotting against Bernie Sanders "Well, OK, two out of three.
To my thinking, most conspiracy theories require: 1) a predetermined attitude on the motive behind the conspiracy ("the government doesn't want us to know because ..."); 2) the willingness to disregard facts (or lack of facts); 3) the belief in the absolute commitment of lots of people over a long period of time to keep a secret; 4) the further belief that the people involved in the conspiracy are actually capable of pulling it off, or at least trying to.
So here's my conspiracy theory: Trump, Putin and Assad set the whole thing up. The chemical attack, the missile attack, the denials, the warnings from Trump, the threats from Putin. All according to script. Yes, it's a morbidly depressing theory and so, in some respects, I hope I'm wrong. But I wouldn't be surprised if I'm right.
To hatch any sort of conspiracy, there must be something to gain for each of the conspirators. Each must also be able to lie with a straight face, over and over and over again. Being a pathological liar helps. Also, the conspirators must be willing and able to carry out whatever deeds, however unseemly, that are required to promote the fiction they are trying to sell. People will be hurt. Being self-absorbed and demonstrably unconcerned about the welfare of others is also a useful characteristic.
That sounds like Trump, Putin and Assad. In this case, it's not even hard to believe, let alone conceive of such a chilling conspiracy.
Trump's motive? Pick one:
- He doesn't know how to be president.
- People think he stinks at the job and he can't stand rejection.
- He couldn't close the deal on the health care plan.
- People mock his tweets.
- Judges keep rejecting his executive orders.
- Even Republicans in Congress couldn't avoid investigating links between a growing list of Trump campaign aides and Russian hackers to sway the election in his favor. It would be good to get people's minds off that.
- People think he's Putin's puppet.
- He likes to act tough.
- It sounded like a good idea at the time.
OK, so Trump is not the brains behind the plot. Putin is. To get Americans, especially American TV news outlets, to stop focusing on the FBI and CIA and Congress probing whether Trump and Putin are in bed together and, you know, maybe someone committed treason, have Trump order a military strike that has humanitarian justification written all over it, even though it probably won't accomplish much militarily. A feel-good military action, like attacking someone who has just used chemical weapons against unarmed civilians.