Wow. I had a dream that went on all night.
There was a pink bear sighting in Alaska.
Then there were pink bear sightings
In South Dakota and Colorado,
All thought to be hoaxes but then
The New York Times published a photo, front page;
It looked real enough.
The article interviewed a hiker
Who reported talking to the Pink Bear.
He said it was standing up.
When asked what the bear said
The hiker said he couldn't repeat it;
The bear was talking trash.
The hiker said the bear was heading for Washington.
What happened next is hard to believe.
(I mean in my dream it was hard to believe.)
There were signs that great changes are coming:
Mount Shasta was waking up, sending out a plume of ash.
Native Americans warning, This is it.
There was a black-out in Washington
And when the lights returned
Someone had painted the Abraham Lincoln monument
Blackface, black hands.
And CODEPINK managed to cloak
Half the Washington Monument in pink.
Then the Pink Bear went on Fox News.
He said he was running for president.
And everyone got a close look at him,
And nobody could agree on what they saw.
Was he a bear or a man?
A man who looked like a bear or a bear who looked like a man?
I came all the way because it's time.
Time to step up.
Time to make it right.
Time to throw the bums out.
I have the power and the money and the will.
I have the moxie. I have the credentials.
I will fire everyone who isn't on board.
Don't mess with me, Russia.
Don't mess with me, China,
And North Korea. . .You are nothing to me,
To us. I'm that big!
I am from a place so powerful
That the sun rises on demand.
The ice melts under my gaze.
I live in a silver ice tower.
I see everything.
That's why I came.
Then the reporter interrupted to ask:
"What is your name?"
And the Pink Bear, whose pinkness was now a bright aura
Burning around his pink face, said:
Just call me teacher, wonder,
Truth, victor, trouble-for-our-enemies,
Bringer of power back to the glory of the highest ideals
Of the shining hope of the capitalist
City of towers, home of the up-soaring eagles and eaglets
Of the antiterrorist, innocent, uneducated
Poor saps of forgotten Americans
Who just want me to reopen their bowling alley!
Isn't that pathetic! My God, that is pathetic!
My eyes are watering. I'm that sensitive, see?
I love to bowl!
Which I will do, by the way
Because I can do that.
And I will make their little towns start up again
Just like a music box that my grandfather gave me
That plays some patriotic song from the civil war era
That I can't remember, but that's why I have aides,
To remember stuff like that.
I was born with a very smart brain.
I will use that brain to make us
The best and the most powerful again
And. . .what was the question?
And everyone was stunned and touched
And filled with a new feeling
Of hope, because the Pink Bear was so brave and powerful
And average and humble and forgetful. . .
And the reporter said: "What a country! What a time to be
If a Pink Bear can love us enough
And give up his life in the tundra,
And his ice tower,
Surely we can spare him a tiny, insignificant vote of confidence."
Then the Pink Bear interrupted:
Oh and by the way,
I just want to say,
I love Latinos and Blacks and Europeans and everyone.
And I'm really smart and nothing is going to get in my way.
When I want something I usually get it,
If I really want it,
And you know what?
I want this.