"And the new President of the United States is Donald John Trump!"
"No, no, no! Turn it off, Melania!" the Donald screamed, "This wasn't supposed to happen! I tried so hard to lose--I don't want to be President! I can't! No!"
"Vake up, darlink," Melania whispered as she gently shook her husband. "You are having a dream!"
"This isn't my dream, it's a nightmare! Hillary was supposed to win this thing."
"Don't vorry. She vill. It's all taken care of."
Trump sat up in his silk-sheeted bed. "Whew. What a relief. It's bad enough having to play the fool for the next three months--even narcissists like to be respected and praised once in a while. But, I can't imagine a worse life than the Oval Office. Secret Service nearby every time I want to have sex. With you, dear, with you." A sigh. "Not a problem for Hill and Bill, at least."
"You have made vonderful sacrifices for them, darlink. They can never repay you enough for the abuse you are having to put up with during the Phase 3."
Trump leaned over and kissed his wife on the forehead. "I like to keep my family in silk and satin, my dear. It's worth a few months as a punching bag to avoid another bankruptcy."
Melania patted his hand. "Yes, but not tonight, darlink, I have a headache."