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The Empathy Gap between Us and Them

By   Follow Me on Twitter     Message Marcia G. Yerman       (Page 1 of 1 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   1 comment

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How do people get past the feelings they have of "otherness" toward those who are different from themselves? A lack of empathy and connection is often at the root of the chasm that separates us from other members of society.

That's what I thought about during the day I waited with the rest of the nation to learn what a jury would decide about the guilt or innocence of George Zimmerman.

I kept thinking about the parents of black male teenagers that I know, and the fear they must be feeling. Several of the young men are bi-racial, but to society they clearly read as black. Caucasian genealogy is of no more protection for them than an Aryan parent was for a "part-Jewish" child in Nazi Germany.

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After the "innocent" verdict came down, I listened to a glut of deconstruction that covered the whole continuum. I heard legal breakdowns, cultural breakdowns, and numerous sound bites from the Zimmerman camp that I found hard to swallow. Robert Zimmerman Jr., the family spokesperson and brother of George, suggested to CNN that the media had driven a "racially tinged" narrative. Don West, the Zimmerman defense lawyer, uttered so many arrogant comments I couldn't determine which was the most offensive.

Without literal and figurative skin in the game, too many Americans still don't get it. There is a disconnect from any sense of empathy for those who are different. For them, what is felt as tangible and visceral is only the otherness.

Ironically, during the Saturday on which the verdict was eventually reached, I was dog-sitting for friends who live in a gated community. It's nestled north of Manhattan, in Westchester County. It isn't Florida, and there are no "stand your ground laws." (Our state's contribution to law enforcement is the liberal use of "stop and frisk.")

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When the doorbell rang at around noon, I opened the door to see a tall, young black man in a sky blue T-shirt. He was holding a clipboard. On the back--facing me in block letters--was the phrase, "No Fracking!" He told me he was with a grassroots organization that had dropped him off by car. Here, in the middle of look-alike homes, he had been tasked with getting signatures for a continued moratorium on fracking in New York State.

We talked for about fifteen minutes, since the environment is one of the topics I cover. He told me that he was graduating from Baruch College in December, with a degree in Public Affairs. I signed his petition.

When I closed the door, I kept thinking, "Is he going to be okay? Is someone going to hassle him?" Door to door canvassing in suburbia is a tough sell. I know. I've done it. It wasn't exactly like standing in front of D'Agostino supermarket on First Avenue, reaching out to passersby.

Later, when I walked the dog, I ran into him again. It was close to 5 p.m. He hadn't had too much luck. Most people weren't home. Perhaps they were at the pool. "What time is your team picking you up?" I asked him. "8 p.m.," he told me. I didn't imagine that people were going to be especially interested in discussing the ins and outs of fracking during dinnertime.

Was I were being paranoid about his safety? When I saw it was close to 8:30, I felt relieved knowing that his group had already retrieved him.

I contemplated how many people who saw him that Saturday questioned what he was doing in "their community."

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When the news came in later that night that Zimmerman had been acquitted, I reconsidered whether my concerns had been crazy paranoia.

One thing seemed clear to me: Until the barriers of "otherness" break down and erase the long-standing tendency to think of those who are different in terms of "Us" and "Them," young black men will not be safe.


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Marcia G. Yerman is a writer, activist, artist and curator based in New York City. Her articles--profiles, interviews, reporting and essays--focus on women's issues, the environment, human rights, the arts and culture. Her writing has been (more...)

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