January 8, 2010
The CIA Blows It Again, This Time In Connection With
The Gilbert Arenas Affair.
In his second exclusive interview with this reporter, President B. Rack O'Bomber (aka Anti-Afghan Man) disclosed that the CIA had blown it again, for the 238th consecutive time (as revealed by Tim Weiner in his classic Lagacy of Ashes. The CIA, said O'Bomber, completely missed the fact that the dreaded Stern gang had manufactured the Gilbert Arenas incident as part of its continuing war on its rival, the equally dreaded UrGUN. The UrGUN has been attempting to take over professional basketball from the Stern Gang as part of UrGUN's war to further rot the minds of the American public, media and politicians. It is trying to do this by causing them to focus yet again on the inessential and meaningless, this time on the subject of professional basketball, instead of on crucial matters such as whether Kraft will take over Cadbury as part of the infamous Chacolate War.
Speaking in his usual Golden Glossalalia, the President disclosed that Gilbert Arenas had brought unloaded pistols to Gilbert's Arena in violation of the Supreme Court's ruling in the Washington gun control case. Under that high court ruling, it is not lawful to carry unloaded weapons in Washington, D.C. It is lawful only to carry loaded weapons. "That damn fool, Arenas," said the President, "could have avoided the whole problem if only, like so much of the rest of Washington, he had loaded the pistols before he had taken them out of his house. Hasn't he ever heard of the Supreme Court?"