I take it back, conceding Karl Rove (a.k.a. Turd Blossom) must be smart. Didn't this PR con artist mastermind the re-election of our most illiterate, incurious, wastrel president -- whose habitual "deer facing reality" gaze let slip his opacity? Notwithstanding, this twice-elected regime unleashed our most virulent, Constitution-bashing V.P -- still haunting us, an undying zombie from a bad horror movie.
Yes, the old man's Supreme Court iced the flunkey's first appointment, but that's no match to ripping John Kerry with this abysmal "compassionate conservative" turned botched "war president." All the impressive considering Bush-Cheney's serial albatrosses: caught defenseless by triple sneak attacks, storm-trooping us into non-9/11 wars, the Plame-Libby scandals, and incessant class warfare -- altogether a walking-talking gaffe of a presidency.
But today Rove appears over the hill and losing his golden touch. Item, his cross-eyed Crossroads America's "personality ad war" to boost Romney against Obama. As if Rove now cares for truth (though Obama is the world's greatest celebrity), here's the old sleazy fringe ploy: undermine your opponent's greatest strength. High risk, as Obama's personal story and likeability remain splashy virtues. By what logic does Rove's Romney, the privileged offspring of a rich auto executive turned governor, getting even richer as unapologetic corporate raider, stand against Obama's remarkable, self-made ascent? Is Romney not opposite this ex-Food Stamp, poor minority kid with single-mother, whose student loan debt followed him for decades -- all without a sugar daddy?
Rove must figure if he can't win on policy or sound bites, try the failed '08 McCain ploy: Obama's nothing more than ambitious "celebrity." As if that's a bad thing in a culture obsessed with celebrity, equating fame with moral virtue, however facts defy this linkage. What's Rove thinking, since in any personality sweepstakes Romney measures a -20 (on a scale of 10)? "The least interesting person in the world," quips Bill Maher, so boring he's what "Ambien takes when it can't sleep." If ambushing Obama celebrity is the best shot from the rightwing smear machine, think 2016.
Vulture Capitalists as Bore
Not only does Romney crow about triumphant exploits as "vulture capitalist" (thanks, Rick Perry), neither his treasure trove, nor advisers can polish his persistent, lackluster image. He escaped his primary siege as the scaliest, phoniest, most fabricated non-entity in memory. T hus, his incredibly low 34% national approval rating, with only 62% GOP favorability. Unlike Gingrich or Santorum, Romney's congenital, off-key mendacity doesn't make him compelling, a double loss for lying exacts a price. How incredible all the king's men can't transmute this Humpty Dumpty into a more plausible phony. Romney is the Tin Man without a heart yet whose insides are now stuffed full of his own blatant flip-flops. Nature may abhor a vacuum, but better politicians fill in such gaps.
Say what you will about W.'s psychic bottom-feeding, the primitive selling "the only thing to fear IS fear itself," yet he had an identifiable, if coarse personality. Think prodigal ferret on the way home, crashing the family car as he gets ambushed by believing his own B.S. Though both fronted for a dreadfully cynical regime, Rove sustained W.'s image as just plain folks, making him, like moronic Joe the Plummer, a guy Tea Party morons favor.